tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-226477352024-03-14T14:20:15.685-04:00ravings of a creative suburban housewifeMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.comBlogger324125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-84213038992796345012018-11-10T12:59:00.002-05:002018-11-11T22:59:33.411-05:00November<br />
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Almost two years ago my husband and I felt deeply that God
was calling us to downsize… specifically our house… and move back to San Diego
even though we had only moved away from it 18 months before. I had just remodeled my kitchen to an
absolute dream for FREE (due to a terrible plumbing issue and a nice insurance
company) and I loved being in the kitchen for probably the first time in my
life. It was calming, and I could see
results for my work quickly compared to other things in life, like losing
weight, raising children and growing out bangs.<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br /></div>
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All that to say, despite the big beautiful house, there were
other things about our Orange County experience that were challenging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We struggled to find a community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The church where we finally landed was
wonderful but still felt foreign in many ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our older kids felt like strangers in this new house that didn’t have
all the memories and friends they had grown up with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were financially strapped and constantly
worrying about money.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We took a deep breath and a step back and told God, “ok”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sold our big house, a TON of furniture and
stuff that would never fit in our new little bungalow and moved back to Chula
Vista, the place our family calls home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It turns out that God can see a bigger picture than we ever
can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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A few months after downsizing, Larry was laid off from his
executive position and we were left without an income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We NEVER would have survived if we had been
in our big, lovely Orange County house with its ginormous mortgage and no
support system around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God knew what He
was doing apparently.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have definitely struggled through the last 18 months that
we’ve been back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Months of no
income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An old house that is constantly
in need of repair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something breaking
down almost every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, in the midst
of all the uncertainty, we have found little hidden treasures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgelUpVC4VBVy1-U2tup83plsoDRR8bqBLpfK5RG0CdImeyfXwo8aakcMOh9uw97AGgH0Zs4W8g-IGS-xqGiCavs8ylLDElTb3uD-AFAyXjNc18jgFehDHzVd2L74A2Sor9BgI/s1600/IMG_2902.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgelUpVC4VBVy1-U2tup83plsoDRR8bqBLpfK5RG0CdImeyfXwo8aakcMOh9uw97AGgH0Zs4W8g-IGS-xqGiCavs8ylLDElTb3uD-AFAyXjNc18jgFehDHzVd2L74A2Sor9BgI/s320/IMG_2902.jpg" width="320" /></a>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Our children are so at home here and they are thriving. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">THIS is home.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We found a local church that is in the business
of being the hands and feet of Jesus to its community and investing in healing
and redemption.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We discovered new facets to our dreams and
vision for our future.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We were near again (in proximity) to extended
family and old friends.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We’ve had opportunities to use our gifts in new
and exciting ways.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Our backyard is home to many birds and
butterflies</span></li>
<li>We started our own consulting company… together!</li>
</ul>
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So, while there are days when I think if one more thing in
our house breaks down I will scream or I long for the day when I have a master
bathroom sink that works, I KNOW this is where God has placed us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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Last night when our son yanked us from our slumber because a
pipe under our kitchen sink was spewing hot water all over the kitchen, I
thought I was going to lose it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
morning I awakened with a cloud of discouragement cloaking all the goodness of
God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then I felt his prompting to
write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I headed to The Nest (our office
space in the back yard) armed with my bulletproof coffee and began this post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And once again I see that God knows what He
is doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has guided me, through this
“exercise”, to change my perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At
least for the moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that I am
prone to wander.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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But I’m thankful in
this moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this is what I need to
be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;">I’ll transform her dead ground into Eden, her moonscape into the garden of </span><span class="small-caps" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;">God</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;">, A place filled with exuberance and laughter, </span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic;">thankful </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><i>voices and melodic songs. -</i>Isaiah 51:3 (The Message)</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>What are you thankful for today?</b></span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-11022578979445074742018-01-22T20:41:00.000-05:002018-01-22T20:41:54.157-05:00All The Wrong Places<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m getting kind of excited about next month. You see, I get to facilitate an online group
that will be going through an amazing book in an experimental study through my
church, The Refinery. The book is <i>I Am:
A 60-day Journey To Knowing Who You Are Because Of Who He Is </i>by
Michele Cushatt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMap3hMtHivYI6-xwnbwDn3G6RPBuFBWS66x0IxM3IGoIYrM0rWSpEu7Z6QblrgQfYQ699HMawZfIFvxxFdSL0Dwc30JF7uQa6VbOnDUsR1H1Iub5Ygm8VmPrSfN3aUTo0Hef5/s1600/Group+Cover+Photo+I+am+Online+Experience+%25284%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="783" data-original-width="1600" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMap3hMtHivYI6-xwnbwDn3G6RPBuFBWS66x0IxM3IGoIYrM0rWSpEu7Z6QblrgQfYQ699HMawZfIFvxxFdSL0Dwc30JF7uQa6VbOnDUsR1H1Iub5Ygm8VmPrSfN3aUTo0Hef5/s320/Group+Cover+Photo+I+am+Online+Experience+%25284%2529.png" width="320" /></a>Now, admittedly, I am a hard sell when it comes to women’s
bible studies. So often I have picked up
a book, excited by the title or the premise, only to be disappointed by the dearth
of depth or lack of acknowledgement in the realities we struggle with in our
broken world. I’ve become a little
gun-shy when it comes to Christian “self-help” or study books that promise any
answers to the kinds of things I encounter on a day to day basis. My world is complex. My issues run deep. Pat solutions, airy clichés and carefree
(and, dare I say, care<i>less</i>) remedies
don’t connect with me. If anything, they
frustrate me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, why this book?
What makes this different? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s the thing.
This past December I turned 49 (my heart drops just typing that
number). I just don’t feel ready to BE
in my fifties. As I look back over my
40’s (ugh… I sound old, don’t I?), I feel like I have finally just started
learning who I truly am. I think I’ve
had glimpses and hints throughout the years.
But it’s only been the last decade where my identity has become clearer
to me. And, when I picked up this book
last year, it catapulted me even further in my journey to realizing who I am in
God.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Michele Cushatt is the real deal. She has been through it. She has been divorced, a single mom, and, in
the midst of a very successful speaking career, was diagnosed with squamous-cell
carcinoma of the tongue. Did you get
that? The <u>tongue</u>! What followed was months of doctor
appointments and a painful surgery where they removed a portion of her
tongue. But then it came back. Then it came back <b>again</b>. It was
relentless. She lost two-thirds of her
tongue including function and the ability to taste and was scarred severely by
repeated interventions and operations.
As she said, she would “never look, speak, or eat the same again… if you
had asked me five years before --- or even one year before---whether my identity
and self-worth were based on my appearance, my talents, and my career, I would
have said, ‘Absolutely not!’” But now she was faced with not knowing who she was
or where to find the answer. She is
transparent and authentic in pouring out her heart and what she learned when
God showed her through his word that “Identity isn’t grounded in who we are;
it’s grounded in who He (God) is.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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That sounds simple, doesn’t it? But she doesn’t pretend it is, because she
knows.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And I know. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m a pastor’s kid. And,
yes, the rumors are true. We can be the
worst of the bunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I used to think I was like that old (geez… did I just say
“old”?) song from 1980, “Looking For Love (In All The Wrong Places)”. But as I was getting ready for this study it
occurred to me that it wasn’t necessarily love that I was looking for. It was my <b>identity</b>. I consistently
sought out and yearned for the approval of others (primarily those in positions
of power or influence). I performed
(both literally and figuratively) for the applause of others. I took every
“quiz” and personality assessment known to man (FYI: I am a pear-shaped, Fall, ENFJ,
Choleric/Sanguine, Enneagram Social 8 with a 7 wing). I have been all about self-knowledge. And those assessments provided a lot of
insight into my personality, but they didn’t give me a solid foundation for my
identity. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Why? Because: Identity isn’t grounded in who we are; it’s
grounded in who He is.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I invite you this February to join me in this excursion into
truth. I can’t promise it will be
easy. The greatest change and insight
come when we are pushed beyond our comfort zones. What I can promise is that you will not be
alone. We will travel this road
together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Here are the details:
You will need to purchase a copy (digital or hard copy) of <i>I Am:
A 60-day Journey To Knowing Who You Are Because Of Who He Is </i>by
Michele Cushatt. We will be carrying out
the bulk of the study online in a private Facebook group. You can click on the link below to join OR
you can search for “The Refinery – I Am Online Experience” in the Facebook
search bar. This study is open to any
woman over the age of 18. Although you
will have the option on three separate occasions to meet with us in person, you
do NOT have to be local. Our goal is to
make this a study you can work through with friends and family anywhere there
is internet access. Invite them to join
you! This is great for any woman with a
schedule or life circumstances that would make an in-person study
difficult. We will be kicking off the
study on February 3<sup>rd</sup> but make sure to join the group before then as
we will have some connecting time in the couple weeks leading up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am so excited to have this opportunity to grow with you
and share with you! Please feel free to
message me with any questions. Let’s go!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1560925790688648/">Click
here to JOIN our Facebook group!</a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Bullet Points:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Starts February 3, 2018</li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Study takes place online in private Facebook
group</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Any woman over 18 can participate</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">You will need a copy of the book</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">In-person meet ups for local participants</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Saturday, Feb. 3 @ 10 am</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Saturday, Feb. 24 @ 10 am</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Saturday, March 10 @ 10 am</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="text-indent: -24px;">Follow link to join Facebook Group</span></li>
</ul>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-32418666398341232722018-01-01T17:18:00.002-05:002018-01-01T17:18:43.645-05:002018January 1, 2018<br />
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This is what GOD says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies— they lie down and then can’t get up; they’re snuffed out like so many candles: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’ —the coyotes and the buzzards— Because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me.<br />Isaiah 43:19 MSG</blockquote>
<br />
Originally, I thought my “word” for the year would be redemption. It was a word that resonated heavily with me during one of our pastor’s sermons in December. Things being made new. Pain being given purpose. But then, this morning, this “verse of the day” appeared in my Inbox.<br />
<br />
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out!”<br />
<br />
Be alert. Be present.<br />
<br />
I think this encompasses exactly why I was captivated by the word “redemption”. He is doing something new. Brand new. Water in the desert. Rivers through the sun-baked earth. I need to be alert and present to this new thing that is erupting. <br />
<br />
As I’ve been sitting here mediating, musing over these words several other things emerge. I believe that I am that wild animal. At times, I am coyote. Territorial. Preferring the dark. Paradoxical. Playful. Defensive. Ready to attack. Then I am buzzard. Hovering over past regrets, hurts and failures, spending too much time with dead things.<br />
<br />
And yet, coyote or buzzard, doesn’t matter to my God. He is still going to quench my thirst, provide a road right through the ocean, waters in the desert place. And he still chose me. What grace is that?!<br />
<br />
2018. My “Be Alert. Be Present.” Year. He is doing something brand new and while I may not yet see it… I will.<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-44416800917792131052017-09-08T14:11:00.000-04:002017-09-08T14:11:38.111-04:00Ground Zero<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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September 8, 1997 ranks as one of the worst days of my
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A day I had to face the darkest
parts of myself and admit my deepest failures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A day I’d rather ignore, pretend never happened and bury under smiles.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s the thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
I deny the moment, rebuff the memories and hide behind time, I lose the miracle
of what happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The miracle of
rebirth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Restoration. Redemption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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That Monday signaled our marriage’s Ground Zero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the day that, dazed and broken, we
made the choice (and really, was it a choice? Maybe a spiritual shove…) to be a
team… partners…family <i>no matter what</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite the pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite the
brokenness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite the despair.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the years since I am sure we have each wondered at times,
“What was I thinking?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trauma doesn’t
stop once the tragic defining moment is passed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It carries a ripple effect through each day, month, year until the
ripples get further and further apart and you realize you are still afloat and
the swells are softer, smaller and safer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This was no bootstrap accomplishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was divine intervention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make no mistake. I am still the damaged,
difficult person I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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But God.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today I thank God for Ground Zero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hold it in my heart with a somewhat uneasy,
but gentle recognition that Ground Zero was our <i>kairos moment</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-72817144600541534972016-08-22T14:34:00.001-04:002016-08-22T17:09:28.290-04:00Who You Say We Are<br />
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neurodevelopmental and behavioral effects of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder as
well as co-occurring mental illnesses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
inability to reason effectively or make wise choices has added drug abuse to
the list of issues.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today I cried out to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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<br /></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
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This is my lifeline today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am clinging to its message and clinging to the truth that is we are
not our diagnoses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not what others
may label us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not our past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hallelujah, we (and our child) are who HE
says we are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mfhFqGO7z4A?list=RDmfhFqGO7z4A" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<div style="color: #616161; font-family: Roboto, arial, 'Noto Sans Japanese', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 10px;">
Oh how great is the love<br />
The Father has lavished on us<br />
That we should be called The children of God<br />
Oh how great was the cost<br />
The Father was willing to pay<br />
So we could be called the children of God</div>
<div style="color: #616161; font-family: Roboto, arial, 'Noto Sans Japanese', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 10px;">
And all that we can say is thank you, Thank you<br />
And all that we can say is thank you, Thank you</div>
<div style="color: #616161; font-family: Roboto, arial, 'Noto Sans Japanese', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 10px;">
We are your sons<br />
We are your daughters<br />
Hallelujah, we are who You say we are<br />
So we lift our hands<br />
And cry Abba Father<br />
Hallelujah, we are who You say we are<br />
Hallelujah, we are who You say we are</div>
<div style="color: #616161; font-family: Roboto, arial, 'Noto Sans Japanese', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 10px;">
Oh how great is your amazing grace<br />
That took us as orphans and slaves<br />
And made us your heirs, And gave us Your name<br />
There's nothing more we could ever do<br />
You finished it all on the cross<br />
Then rose from the grave<br />
And brought us with You</div>
<div class="attribution-container" style="color: #616161; font-family: Roboto, arial, 'Noto Sans Japanese', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-top: 32px;">
Written by Steven Chapman • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC</div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-11978305869172159312016-06-16T17:34:00.002-04:002016-06-20T19:44:54.594-04:00Open Letter to Jen Hatmaker<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been a fan and a reader for some time. I loved the threads of grace that I glimpsed
in your writing and I felt a kinship with you in that I am also raising home-grown
kids as well as adopted kids. Your <a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ciframe%20src=%22https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fpermalink.php%3Fstory_fbid%3D978404002258595%26id%3D203920953040241&width=500%22%20width=%22500%22%20height=%22262%22%20style=%22border:none;overflow:hidden%22%20scrolling=%22no%22%20frameborder=%220%22%20allowTransparency=%22true%22%3E%3C/iframe%3E" target="_blank">Facebook post</a>
today and the subsequent “hero stories” you requested from your readers and then
applauded in your own replies really has me questioning that kinship.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You started your post with an amusing anecdote about a difficult
day with your son and the ensuing battle of wills. But it then deteriorated into a celebration
of parenting stories that featured manipulation, abandonment (albeit temporary)
and shame. It concluded with a call for
other similar stories. Many of your readers obliged. Tales of more shame, rejection and
humiliation under the guise of natural consequences followed. And you commended them. Repeatedly.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First of all, I am completely aware that sometimes it is
good, even necessary, to find the humor in hard circumstances. However, laughing at and hailing destructive
discipline "techniques" as positive is completely different and, in
my humble opinion, is what you and a large majority of your readers did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is also a difference between “natural consequences”
and consequences that a parent imposes to “teach a lesson”. I believe that in your post and the resulting
comments that difference was ignored. A
fellow adoptive parent once said, “A natural consequence is a consequence
imposed by nature, like burning your finger when you touch a hot stove. No
person decides that your finger ought to be burned to teach you a lesson. The
laws of nature ensure that your finger gets burned, whether you need to learn
that lesson or not.” (Mark Vatsaas) <b>If you need to “come up with” a “natural
consequence”, it is NOT one.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What concerned me most, as an adoptive mom, was that these
methods of shame and repudiation have been scientifically proven to be
detrimental and ineffective for kids with backgrounds of trauma. To champion them can quite literally be
dangerous for these kids and threaten to emotionally, psychologically and
neurodevelopmentally destroy them. A
survey of current neuroscientific studies validates this information. The best resources for connecting with and
disciplining (which can be defined as an activity, exercise, or a regimen that
develops or improves a skill) kids from hard places can be found in the
writings of Dr. Karyn Purvis from Texas Christian University’s Institute of
Child Development and Dr. Dan Siegel (clinical professor of psychiatry at the
UCLA School of Medicine).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not have perfect children. I struggle with parenting them everyday. Before I knew the scientific data regarding
trauma and its effects on the brain I parented the same way your readers were encouraging
and lauding. Sometimes I still
struggle. Parenting is not an easy job
and parenting a child with trauma is even harder and messier. But I am daily encouraged by the progress I
have seen in my children when I connect first and correct last. When I look behind the behavior and find the
need. When I go through the natural
consequence <b>with</b> them as opposed to
delving out my own created consequence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I encourage you and other adoptive and foster parents to
attend an Empowered to Connect conference (usually sponsored by Show Hope and
Focus on the Family). You will be
emboldened by the hope that can be found in connected parenting techniques.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-8996843557543651332015-09-10T17:31:00.001-04:002015-09-10T17:31:48.455-04:00Coming Out of Hiding<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrse4Hhn09Hw-HMmz4sFcChZo5uNWgCxOHPuC3njXtTxOV5bwEPOwgx8BuXSI9pIevVjl_0AkVig_O6wU9ZY0h2hVfYz37KyOC6kQajuCwoNHFatRvFa6buezxtZTQ8xtIzan/s1600/hiding-photodream-art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrse4Hhn09Hw-HMmz4sFcChZo5uNWgCxOHPuC3njXtTxOV5bwEPOwgx8BuXSI9pIevVjl_0AkVig_O6wU9ZY0h2hVfYz37KyOC6kQajuCwoNHFatRvFa6buezxtZTQ8xtIzan/s320/hiding-photodream-art.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I love the app “Time Hop”.
I enjoy pulling it up each morning and looking at the posts and photos
from that same day throughout the last 7 or so years. Occasionally they bring a tear to my eye but
more often than not, I smile. The
memories are so precious… even the ones that hurt.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But something happened a couple days ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My “Time Hop” from a year ago abruptly went
silent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No posts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just sudden
stillness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I remembered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My open book was slammed shut exactly one year
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For five days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five days in mental health facility.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You read that correctly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t let anyone try to convince you that there is no such
thing as post-adoption depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or
that dealing with a traumatized child will not in turn traumatize you as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love alone does not conquer all.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But here’s what does:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Love with a heavy dose of Grace, Knowledge, Mindfulness and Eff-ing Hard
Work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And God.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last September I reached the limits of my own strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could no longer “pull myself up by my
bootstraps.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I didn’t even want
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p>I've had such dark moments of doubt that I've questioned whether I could ever believe again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a small child in my home that did not speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not Mandarin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not Cantonese.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No words except those spoken as an echo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also did not cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not when he hurt himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not when he was sad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
did not speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did not cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He screamed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He was terrified, distressed, fighting for survival.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For him every moment was fight, flight or
freeze.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All too often it was fight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pulling out fist full after fist full of my
hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Spitting in my face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Scratching me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Biting me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kicking me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Head butting me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hitting me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For hours at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seemed that nothing could calm this poor child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as odd as it sounds, while I was the
recipient of all the rage, I was also the recipient of all of his need and
attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not leave him for a
moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He clung to me incessantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always touching me, grabbing me, pulling
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He would not let me speak to anyone
else… not my husband, my children, my friends without first doing everything he
could to distract me and then, if that failed, yanking my head toward him and
screaming at the top of his lungs so I couldn’t hear the other person.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew this was the effect of trauma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew he was in terrible pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew that every woman who had ever been in
charge of his care had abandoned him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
knew that he had been abused.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew
that he had spent the majority of his life fighting to live.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also was quite aware that I had willingly signed up for
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This did not make it any easier.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBluWQDEGwwZKpYg_58g-xYW_ebs-qy3H-3Puv0dXFxcgql2J2iDvT-SU0o0PJIX0o3F9HqakurYzJd0TWc7Yge1RSnjjh8kNguTj1pX3BnDOl3KTYrFNF-xQ-jTzkU9qFjtGm/s1600/Me+Hiding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBluWQDEGwwZKpYg_58g-xYW_ebs-qy3H-3Puv0dXFxcgql2J2iDvT-SU0o0PJIX0o3F9HqakurYzJd0TWc7Yge1RSnjjh8kNguTj1pX3BnDOl3KTYrFNF-xQ-jTzkU9qFjtGm/s320/Me+Hiding.jpg" width="320" /></a>I hid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or I
escaped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As often as I could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to either recoil or burst into tears
at the mere touch of another person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
simple hand on my arm could send me into uncontrollable sobbing or on the other
extreme, feel as if I had been burned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
began to isolate myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From
everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was embarrassed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was scared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was lonely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was hurting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was, in my eyes, the Queen of
Inadequacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I was failing at
everything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So… how did all this change?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How did I get to today?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I got help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Counseling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Treatment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With people who were <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">trauma-informed</b>.
(VERY important)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I was given grace by those who loved me and
cared for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I learned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I studied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I educated myself on
the effects of trauma on children and the residual effects on those who care
for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found resources and was able
to equip myself with the tools I needed to navigate this time of healing for
both me and for my son.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I stopped hiding.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m still learning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m still working hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
not easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as Glennon Doyle Melton
says, “We can do hard things.” (<a href="http://www.momastery.com/">http://www.momastery.com</a>)
I believe it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Resources:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://empoweredtoconnect.org/">http://empoweredtoconnect.org</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anything written or developed by Dr. Karyn Purvis (Director
of the TCU Institute of Child Development)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://drdansiegel.com/">http://drdansiegel.com</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People of the Second Chance <a href="http://www.potsc.org/">http://www.potsc.org</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/">http://www.biblegateway.com</a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.parentingadopteescantrust.com/">http://www.parentingadopteescantrust.com</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-15072842894590848902015-09-09T11:51:00.003-04:002016-06-20T19:45:39.076-04:00Long and Winding Road<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAZqO51a_YiuGomCgPn1Gyx8G4JvZ-s5TFnP3yrYFeEdgcofJDUtteVzZ2rInPL8ttcTIetYzw7uPU7oKrEOx4SDP6ezrvIJ9RnG0MhwrZVe4CBR6DGGXDqSNbfCJK_yB42sDC/s1600/acqo8pyji.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAZqO51a_YiuGomCgPn1Gyx8G4JvZ-s5TFnP3yrYFeEdgcofJDUtteVzZ2rInPL8ttcTIetYzw7uPU7oKrEOx4SDP6ezrvIJ9RnG0MhwrZVe4CBR6DGGXDqSNbfCJK_yB42sDC/s320/acqo8pyji.jpeg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Far better it is to dare mighty
things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to
take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/44567.Theodore_Roosevelt"><span style="color: #535502; text-decoration: none;">Theodore
Roosevelt</span></a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/559271"><i><span style="color: #535502; text-decoration: none;">Strenuous Life</span></i></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Sit down before fact as a little
child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever
and to whatever abysses nature leads, or you shall learn nothing. I have only
begun to learn content and peace of mind since I have resolved at all risks to
do this.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17171.Thomas_Henry_Huxley"><span style="color: #535502; text-decoration: none;">Thomas Henry
Huxley</span></a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/27404825"><i><span style="color: #535502; text-decoration: none;">Life and Letters
of Thomas Henry Huxley - Volume 1</span></i></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“When you walk to the edge of all
the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something
solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2050898.Patrick_Overton"><span style="color: #535502; text-decoration: none;">Patrick Overton</span></a>,
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/4998183"><i><span style="color: #535502; text-decoration: none;">The leaning
tree: [poems]</span></i></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncyLL9Cpf1qKSZuo7iWVbscnhPIaEL0oRGne2FYD0XmEaW5PHTVEUWrdNFgdsbDrmMtIh1LbjexyOp2a2s9w2aNgN_JbuxBW9PJ_1lxTP4e2iiR9zJpwsJYvh_lSgGiqatZHy/s1600/01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncyLL9Cpf1qKSZuo7iWVbscnhPIaEL0oRGne2FYD0XmEaW5PHTVEUWrdNFgdsbDrmMtIh1LbjexyOp2a2s9w2aNgN_JbuxBW9PJ_1lxTP4e2iiR9zJpwsJYvh_lSgGiqatZHy/s320/01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Big changes are coming for the
Baldwin Bungalow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Larry recently was hired by Molina Healthcare which is located in Long Beach. </span>Our San Diego house goes
on the market today and we’ve begun to look for a new home in Orange
County.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is the understandable
mixture of trepidation and anticipation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">One of the things I have always
loved about our family is that we love adventure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And by adventure I don’t mean the
thrill-seeking type… roller coasters, rock climbing, sky diving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean the kind of adventure that changes
your story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">God has proven to be faithful time
after time and we know that this will be another opportunity for us to learn to
trust Him and revel in our place in the grander story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Please keep us in prayer through
this transition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially for the
kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The plan is for Emma to finish her
junior year here in San Diego.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She started
school in July and is well into her FOUR AP classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not all AP courses are offered at every
school and we don’t want to waste the time she has already devoted to these
classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, this is a big year
for her competitive show choir as they are traveling to London in the spring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For Madeleine and Benjamin this
will all happen right away and we want to make sure we support, encourage and
teach them in a way that will build character and not tear down spirits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Isaac is living in Escondido with
some young seminary students and working full time and it will definitely be
hard on us as parents to be that far away from him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pray for wisdom for him as he ventures into
adulthood and takes on new responsibilities and possibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We will be closer to Landen!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are very excited about the opportunity to
be present for more of his productions and see him graduate next year!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So, the ride takes another twist
and turn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hold on, Baldwins!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here we go!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-84152291732915934012014-12-29T22:44:00.001-05:002015-02-03T11:12:48.539-05:00Sticks and Stones<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Sticks and stones may
break my bones but words will never hurt me.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUJIgS4mH2pIpSNhDohJ5I8HZ_9RF6Xufc11BphRBmViWcKjX3HnMITD4ha5PiHZ__jMwdtG_XTZHdTRZ89462O3Rywujrb3oi74jum8IKKOThAVg5UuR8KlYL1bg4v2lj0daU/s1600/Sticks_Stones_Main_Graphic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUJIgS4mH2pIpSNhDohJ5I8HZ_9RF6Xufc11BphRBmViWcKjX3HnMITD4ha5PiHZ__jMwdtG_XTZHdTRZ89462O3Rywujrb3oi74jum8IKKOThAVg5UuR8KlYL1bg4v2lj0daU/s1600/Sticks_Stones_Main_Graphic.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a>This past Sunday I left church feeling out of sync.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> We had a guest preacher and w</span>hile I appreciated the basic admonition that
was communicated I found myself disagreeing with the supporting declarations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe the sermon’s objective was
sincere:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to illustrate the disparity
between the value we place on God’s Word vs. all other forms of media input
(cell phones, email, Internet, books, TV, film, magazines, blogs, etc.).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, several times during the sermon some
proclamations were made that rendered me conflicted and unsettled.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One such declaration was that words do not have the power to
bring life, unless it is the word of God (aka scripture).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even the word of God disproves that
thesis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue
has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
(NIV)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t think that acknowledging the power in words
diminishes the supremacy of God’s word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His word spoke worlds into being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I don’t want to ever underestimate the weight of every <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">other</i> word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be irresponsible… dangerous… toxic
even… to deny its influence on the world and people around me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I leave you with some of the best quotes I’ve found on the
power of words:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird
evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never
be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1406384.John_Green">John Green</a>,
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16827462"><i>The Fault in Our Stars</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have
power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can
wring tears from the hardest hearts.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/108424.Patrick_Rothfuss">Patrick
Rothfuss</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2502879"><i>The
Name of the Wind</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“There is something about words. In expert hands,
manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs
like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce
your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their
magic.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22665.Diane_Setterfield">Diane
Setterfield</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/849453"><i>The
Thirteenth Tale</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood but the mouth
of the upright delivers them.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Proverbs 12:6 (ESV)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Words... They're innocent, neutral, precise, standing for
this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can
build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners
knocked off, they're no good any more... I don't think writers are sacred, but
words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order,
you can nudge the world a little or make a poem which children will speak for
you when you're dead.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/293.Tom_Stoppard">Tom Stoppard</a>,
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1303401"><i>The Real Thing: A
Play</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus said, “But I tell you that men will have to give
account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by
your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-<a href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Matthew%2012.36%E2%80%9337">Matthew 12:36–37</a>
(ESV)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He was intrigued by the power of words, not the literary
words that filled the books in the library but the sharp, staccato words that
went into the writing of news stories. Words that went for the jugular. Active
verbs that danced and raced on the page.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/10442.Robert_Cormier">Robert
Cormier</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/958210"><i>I Am the
Cheese</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the
darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/106.Madeleine_L_Engle">Madeleine
L'Engle</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For some of us, books are as important as almost anything
else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares
of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you,
comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we
are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us
how to live and die.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7113.Anne_Lamott">Anne Lamott</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/841198"><i>Bird by Bird: Some
Instructions on Writing and Life</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They
deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers
make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and
even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are
given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of
life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It's like singing on
a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can't stop the raging storm, but
singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on
that ship.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7113.Anne_Lamott">Anne Lamott</a>, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/841198"><i>Bird by Bird: Some
Instructions on Writing and Life</i></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-81377195751985466742014-05-04T11:57:00.001-04:002014-05-04T11:57:04.479-04:00We Hold These Truths To Be Self-evidentThis morning as I worked on my 5k training I ran to the beat of the late 80's, early 90's. I've found these to be the most motivating rhythms when I'm tempted to quit. As memories associated with each lyric quickly surfaced, I found myself pondering the differences between what I believed to be true at 25 juxtaposed against what I now consider "lessons learned".<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCLlOCB8DPn11us3tPpgPBoEX1PXdlVlcBeFx6roa-fpKfZgXVu9ntVXqByRbDh6ezUQnxK1291tcZR274I8dw2cw6YJCZJCzp3A2NWiQ-r3SDDon_lyEw6biODimZpi4WEFrX/s1600/clenched+fist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCLlOCB8DPn11us3tPpgPBoEX1PXdlVlcBeFx6roa-fpKfZgXVu9ntVXqByRbDh6ezUQnxK1291tcZR274I8dw2cw6YJCZJCzp3A2NWiQ-r3SDDon_lyEw6biODimZpi4WEFrX/s1600/clenched+fist.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a>At 25, everything was still pretty back and white. I clung to my beliefs in my tightly clinched fist, not providing room to change, to grow, to explore the ever present nuances that come with being human. If you were to ask me then to name five things that I <strike>knew</strike> believed to be true, I'm pretty certain most would not be on my list today. I was, at the time, pretty confident in the following:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Justice-above all else</li>
<li>Somewhere out there, there must exist a "no matter what" kind of love</li>
<li>Punishment=Discipline</li>
<li>Weakness is unacceptable</li>
<li>I must be heard</li>
</ul>
Things have shifted <strike>in the last 20 years</strike> since then. Life has shown me the cracks in my armor of self-righteous pronouncements. I've watched things I held to be true prove to be worthless, even harmful, to myself and to those around me. I was thinking today how I would answer the same question now. I would say, with tremulous certainty, that I believe:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7pbyGWlXRYXkaelOXsvC3LroWFSRVUuIpV6Mr8xtXb4vcq9i98wWWG648Off_lE30qg9YpgmfJsmDyt2gyW48UhYFAwST4j-ccwJdZkBZPh609zc6NtygFzntjlvdRwDyYVP/s1600/letting-go-open-hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7pbyGWlXRYXkaelOXsvC3LroWFSRVUuIpV6Mr8xtXb4vcq9i98wWWG648Off_lE30qg9YpgmfJsmDyt2gyW48UhYFAwST4j-ccwJdZkBZPh609zc6NtygFzntjlvdRwDyYVP/s1600/letting-go-open-hands.jpg" height="133" width="200" /></a>
<li>GRACE above all else</li>
<li>The most life-giving words that can be said to a broken person are "I believe in you."</li>
<li>My weakness forces me into dependence on God</li>
<li>Some scars will never heal (at least not in this lifetime) but they are almost always a catalyst for growth </li>
<li>There IS a "no matter what" kind of love out there... As humans we only get a taste of what it can be</li>
</ul>
What about you? What "truths" have changed for you? I'm genuinely curious! Comment below!<br />
<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-63135783629048253332014-01-31T20:29:00.001-05:002014-01-31T20:29:53.355-05:00To Make You Feel My LoveWe've been home for one week. One week of caring for Benjamin in an environment that is completely foreign to him. The smells. The sounds. The place. The rituals. The people. While we are eager for him to embrace his new life and we relish those moments of excitement as he discovers what is now his, our primary focus is to surround him with love. We make sure we hug him, kiss him, hold him, answer him, listen to him and tell him that we love him over and over. The message we want him to grasp is that he is loved... unconditionally and forever. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYru31ShI16t-gHsy7v1Qt3vsQzaLrwgjL0QJ5ZPR32AkLTW4HXCtyTINXZfKsWoexVvOEztViD9NtJr0DrYsjMEwr1sqSM9PwNw_BfsUVP6i456eRp3ieUChlbRnAYNt-SgAF/s1600/set+table.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYru31ShI16t-gHsy7v1Qt3vsQzaLrwgjL0QJ5ZPR32AkLTW4HXCtyTINXZfKsWoexVvOEztViD9NtJr0DrYsjMEwr1sqSM9PwNw_BfsUVP6i456eRp3ieUChlbRnAYNt-SgAF/s1600/set+table.jpg" height="320" width="183" /></a>Last night I was making dinner in the kitchen and I heard some scuffling behind me. I turned to discover Benjamin pulling the same bowls we had used for dinner the night before out of the cupboard. He quietly took them to the dining room table and started distributing them amongst the place settings. He then meandered back to the cupboard and pulled out 6 cups. Returning to the table he placed one at each place. With no regard for anyone or anything going on around him, he proceeded to find the silverware drawer and take out the exact same type of utensils we had used the night before (we had used big spoons and forks for spaghetti but given him chopsticks because he prefers them), including a set of chopsticks for himself. I silently watched mesmerized as he then went to the refrigerator, took out the gallon of milk and poured some in each cup. His final task involved tugging on my sleeve, so that I would help him get the napkins, and then distributing those as well. Stepping back he finally made eye contact with me, very clearly waiting for my approval. Feeling an odd mixture of heartache and fascination, I "ooh"-ed and "ah"-ed over his accomplishment. His face beamed as he giggled with pleasure at receiving my praise.<br />
<br />
This is not the first time that he has "performed" for our attention or commendation. He has shown us how he dresses himself, folds his clothes, grooms himself and more. I am gripped with a sinking feeling that he feels he must earn our love and concern. He is clearly starving for our affection and concern. Little does he realize, at least not yet, that we love him no matter what. He doesn't have to "do" or "not do" anything to make us love him more. Even when we've had to be firm with him we are making absolutely sure that he knows we love him still and do not withhold our affection from him because he's been "naughty". My heart breaks with weight of this burden he carries... the compulsion to work for our approval.<br />
<br />
As I sat this morning reflecting over his behavior I couldn't help but relate to his desperate ploys for love. My whole life has been a long crusade to prove I am lovable and worthy of attention and affection. Despite my head-knowledge of scripture and the nature of Christ, I still feel the need to earn it from both those around me and my God. I am just like Benjamin... trying to perform for my <i>heavenly</i> father... not grasping the fact that he loves me no matter what. I could not earn it, deserve it, lose it or change it. This is the truth of <b>family</b> in the <u>context of the gospel</u>. This is the power of grace.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-6329822532496774832014-01-20T01:49:00.001-05:002014-01-20T01:49:37.484-05:00My Song<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Many women who were unexpectedly blessed by a child (ie Hannah, Mary) often respond with a song or prayer of praise. This is my song. </span><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Dear God</span><div>I am sitting under a canopy of trees on a bench of stone. The wind is blowing softly and the loudest sound around me is the rustling of the leaves. </div><div>
</div><div>I want to use this first completely quiet, peaceful moment to thank you. Thank you for placing Benjamin in our family <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7VsKcFRa4uCfMeU22SXNfvy27sn2gjYcYI13MxavZv4KVABpBAMkDEixl1_wwgv_e_L-3hRqG7BfLIKMEu-_6tUzodjeXyzeaakkOtodnC2hyphenhyphendkqAVmSku43woN0r_KiScaSy/s640/blogger-image--1378466013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7VsKcFRa4uCfMeU22SXNfvy27sn2gjYcYI13MxavZv4KVABpBAMkDEixl1_wwgv_e_L-3hRqG7BfLIKMEu-_6tUzodjeXyzeaakkOtodnC2hyphenhyphendkqAVmSku43woN0r_KiScaSy/s640/blogger-image--1378466013.jpg"></a></div>...for naming him into existence before the stars began. For binding our souls together in the covenant of family conquering thousands of miles, across very different cultures and providing the ransom to bring him home. </div><div>
</div><div>I am in awe of your grace in our lives... to be given the gift of our son... to be entrusted with this little life and to be a part of your greater story. You alone could make this happen. You alone could preserve his life and mend his broken heart...sustaining him through cold, sickness, hunger and time until you made it clear to us that he was our son. I will forever praise you for your goodness, your faithfulness, your mercy. To think that you could use someone such as me, so ill equipped and flawed, to play this part in the amazing journey that is Benjamin's life... I will never... <b style="font-style: italic;">never... </b>find the words to express my overwhelming gratitude... there simply are not the words. We are witness to a miracle. I am fascinated by this chapter in our lives... sometimes fearful...sometimes joyous...sometimes confused...but <b>always </b>fascinated. </div></div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com3Guangzhou Guangzhou23.116151 113.240195tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-3058525433717160972014-01-06T13:05:00.000-05:002014-01-06T13:05:58.360-05:00Special Letter to Family and Friends (re-post)<i>(Re-posted) </i><br />
Very soon we’ll be bringing Benjamin Lilu home and starting the process of
becoming a new and larger family. This is an exciting and scary time
for us – and will probably be especially frightening for Benjamin. In his
short life, he’s gone through more changes and life-altering
experiences than most adults could handle. He’s experienced the loss
of a birth mother, experienced the loss of his second “home” in the
midst of a health crisis, and will soon experience the loss of familiar
caretakers, and the sights, sounds, smells, and language of his birth
country. His entire world will be turned upside down; he will be
disoriented and confused. <u>He will have no reason to trust us</u> – no way
to know that <b>we are safe, </b>that <b>he is secure in our care</b>, and that <b>we
will meet his needs</b>.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEMoYQWEoCv8iN2Npmm0z0wn8bMSCOhbf3OPsLEKnggzh4V2Roga_7HQqzeusVceKSkZmTs2QeqnC7XkgXDUzIXHwGGPaF5OSzZL10rLxNB5nythfxclo4refFpXeRqjPatn0hqA/s1600/going+back+to+china+9.23.13.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEMoYQWEoCv8iN2Npmm0z0wn8bMSCOhbf3OPsLEKnggzh4V2Roga_7HQqzeusVceKSkZmTs2QeqnC7XkgXDUzIXHwGGPaF5OSzZL10rLxNB5nythfxclo4refFpXeRqjPatn0hqA/s320/going+back+to+china+9.23.13.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><u><b>This process of learning to trust us, to bond and attach with our
family, may take weeks, months, or years</b></u>. We expect it to get easier
over time, but things are going to be a little strange at first and we
ask that you please understand and support our attachment plan. It is not
our intention to shut anyone out of our lives or offend any friends in
this process. But Benjamin will need us to have certain boundaries in
place to develop a strong and healthy attachment to us.<br />
<br />
It will help immensely if adults limit what is <b>typically</b> considered
normal physical contact with our son. For awhile, this includes
things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. Children from
orphanages are prone to “attach” to anyone and everyone – which disrupts
his ability to attach to us. <span style="color: red;"><b><i><u>Waving, blowing kisses, or high fives are
perfectly appropriate and welcome! </u></i></b></span> We want Benjamin to know our family
and friends – and interact with them!<br />
<br />
Benjamin had a mother care for him for several months, and then relied
on a stream of different adults for almost 6 years to meet his needs.
He’s learned to
compete for the attention of every adult for basic things like food,
clothing, comfort… Charming any available adult becomes a survival
technique. While it works in an orphanage, it’s dangerous in our
world. It’s not safe for Benjamin to ask random strangers for a hug; in
order to learn healthy, appropriate boundaries, he needs to begin by
learning that we are the two people responsible for meeting his needs.
For a time, we will be the only ones to give him food, water, comfort
him, take him to the restroom and so on. If he asks you for something –
<b>
please</b> <u>ask us</u>. For awhile it may look like we’re spoiling him – but he
needs to understand what role we play in his life and he needs to know
we are dependable and constant.<br />
<br />
Also understand that our very busy, very active family – will be
dramatically limiting our activities and events for awhile. Local
friends – you probably won’t see us at every field trip, every club
meeting, every birthday party – at least for a little bit. Large or
small gatherings, parties, events will not be a
priority in the beginning – but it’s not permanent, and it’s not
personal. At this point, we don’t know entirely what degree of medical
treatment and therapy we may be facing with him, too. We will be tired,
busy tending to him and learning about him, forming emotional bonds,
and getting through our days one day at a time. We are eager to
introduce him to everybody – but it may not be for a little while. <u><b>With one exception!</b></u> If you would like to be part of our welcoming committee at the airport, we would LOVE to see you!<br />
<br />
<br />
The lives of each member of our family will be topsy-turvy for
awhile, and we ask for your understanding as we navigate this new
world. We are obviously far from experts in this, but doing what we
believe to be best for Benjamin. We look forward to introducing him in
person to so many of our friends and family, and hope you understand why
some of our parenting decisions will look as they do with him.<br />
<br />
Here’s an interesting analogy of what adoption looks like to an internationally adopted child:<br />
<a href="http://benjaminandholly.blogspot.com/2009/04/attachment-analogy.html" target="_blank" title="The Wedding">http://benjaminandholly.blogspot.com/2009/04/attachment-analogy.html</a><br />
<br />
And another great illustration of what adopted children go through:<br />
<a href="http://shaungroves.com/2011/01/the-list/" target="_blank" title="The List">http://shaungroves.com/2011/01/the-list/</a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-70403515114108420082013-12-28T03:20:00.000-05:002013-12-28T03:20:13.155-05:00In The Moment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9SR8tIAbpV4hGfj30BWJsAXUJ2_6n_12ombTBpSLMBpfQ1yAEekXRGgEbgkCpU9R5U3DXwNC55gU_IiNTlBILt04MWEHrxnugV9YOJWuO3c9LFNqmsaPbo6QdRkVoMyUhyphenhyphenSvV/s1600/Ocean+Beach+12.27.2013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9SR8tIAbpV4hGfj30BWJsAXUJ2_6n_12ombTBpSLMBpfQ1yAEekXRGgEbgkCpU9R5U3DXwNC55gU_IiNTlBILt04MWEHrxnugV9YOJWuO3c9LFNqmsaPbo6QdRkVoMyUhyphenhyphenSvV/s640/Ocean+Beach+12.27.2013.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
I have made a conscious decision to be "in the moment" this Christmas season... to let go of what doesn't matter and cling to those eternal moments that seem to exist outside of time. Even with our trip to Ch*na coming up so quickly, I have had a strange calm resting within me. Now, I haven't been 100% successful at this goal but those times when I embrace what is and fully enter into the "now" have reaped many blessings that I could not have anticipated.<br />
<br />
Today Larry, Madeleine and I headed out to Ocean Beach.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqFoD2QChqtcrp0DHeIan7nq-ResfvwSgZHNEUkQCFtyCUrf0uASZ2boqH0wEAcv35KFiFmo_nM2veo-SfMHM9sbUup93RE0To34DzxYTr-35ODQJUxM4ZwwtH-KFtBPhUvC21/s1600/Maddie+pier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqFoD2QChqtcrp0DHeIan7nq-ResfvwSgZHNEUkQCFtyCUrf0uASZ2boqH0wEAcv35KFiFmo_nM2veo-SfMHM9sbUup93RE0To34DzxYTr-35ODQJUxM4ZwwtH-KFtBPhUvC21/s320/Maddie+pier.jpg" width="241" /></a></div>
We walked along Voltaire looking through the windows of the little shops and perusing the menus posted outside each little cafe until we found a new and different place to eat. After a wonderful Japanese lunch we headed out to the pier soaking in the sun, breathing in the ocean air and laughing at Madeleine's impeccable sense of humor.<br />
<br />
Some of you may be wondering about our trip... we are scheduled to leave the morning of Friday, January 10th. Larry's mom will be staying with Isaac, Emma and Madeleine and Landen will be back up at UCLA. My mom is traveling with us. We will fly from San Diego to San Francisco, change planes and then fly to Seoul, Korea on Korean Air. We will then change planes again and head on to Shanghai. We will spend the night of 1/11/14 in Sh*nghai and then leave the next morning by bullet train for H*ngzhou, the capital of Benjamin Lilu's province. On Monday morning, 1/13/14, we are scheduled to meet Benjamin Lilu and take him into our care. We will finish out the week there as we wait for all of Ch*na's official paperwork to be completed. We will then fly <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiliKbRSxlPMC4VSTNaWDupm8_XvOpG9hPyAmNSKieELCc_KeOnQXeSToKNmOhYfKpFIuD0N-U0FR94Opzw-RkVcXe4raVr4QuvFUdhYhTmmiHMXdyuI3lUJkDW5VAslnW7Y3E/s1600/me+and+larry+ob+pier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiliKbRSxlPMC4VSTNaWDupm8_XvOpG9hPyAmNSKieELCc_KeOnQXeSToKNmOhYfKpFIuD0N-U0FR94Opzw-RkVcXe4raVr4QuvFUdhYhTmmiHMXdyuI3lUJkDW5VAslnW7Y3E/s320/me+and+larry+ob+pier.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
from H*ngzhou to Gu*ngzhou where the U.S. consulate is located. Benjamin will have a medical exam that is required for him to receive his visa into the U.S. and then we will complete all of the visa and immigration paperwork so that when we arrive in the U.S. he automatically becomes a citizen. Our homecoming will be Friday evening on January 24, 2014. I am praying that my resolve to fully experience each moment will continue throughout our trip despite jet lag, strange food in my tummy, home sickness etc. Please continue to pray for us and for Benjamin that our souls will be prepared to recognize one another as family.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-23405198106353838282013-12-13T02:21:00.001-05:002013-12-13T02:22:58.123-05:00And They Ask Us Why...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj44bBpFvRXtCrECcK7yjEzjfXV47G7KonlSxlQIwc5rvZUUb3XHPKQ3UwnSRhN16gM7cqEFJxlnxgpuCIHxkHNbWyqpCJKeGKIjaZTAP_QMOtfkZk2XR0EE2cDIgaxy5P1O-tR/s1600/question-mark.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj44bBpFvRXtCrECcK7yjEzjfXV47G7KonlSxlQIwc5rvZUUb3XHPKQ3UwnSRhN16gM7cqEFJxlnxgpuCIHxkHNbWyqpCJKeGKIjaZTAP_QMOtfkZk2XR0EE2cDIgaxy5P1O-tR/s320/question-mark.jpg" width="320" /></a>You’d be surprised at the kind of questions adoptive parents
get asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything from “Oh… is your
husband Asian (…black…Hispanic)?” to “How much does it cost?” to “Do you have
any of your “own” kids?” to “So, are you not able to conceive?”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, folks, people, total strangers, have
asked about my fertility or lack thereof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the question I get most often is “Why?”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are you adopting…when you already have
kids or when you don’t have all the money or when you don’t have another bedroom?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why did you choose China (instead of U.S.,
Africa, Eastern Europe etc.)?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, for
your reading pleasure I have decided to tackle those “why” questions head
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Little
disclaimer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not every family who is
adopting has the same answers to the “whys”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These answers are unique to the Baldwin Brood
and the particular adoption we are going through right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, we are not trying to convince
anyone or change anyone… this is just what is real and true for our family.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why are you adopting
when you already have so many kids (4 children currently)?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Side Bar:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With all the reality shows focusing on
families like the Duggars or Jon and Kate +8, it comes as somewhat a surprise
to me that 4 children are considered a large family…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The simple answer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because we believe God called us to. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The longer answer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>James 1:27 says that true religion to God is caring for the orphan and
the widow in their distress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s heart
is for the fatherless and we want our hearts to break with the things that
break God’s heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We believe that each
of the children we have adopted (2 out of our current 4) were placed in our
family for a specific reason… that God is redeeming the tragic circumstances
that made them “orphans” and is inviting us to participate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We believe in providence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why are you adopting
when you don’t have all the money in hand?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The simple answer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because we believe God called us to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The longer answer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because over and over we see evidence in scripture that God has a habit
of not calling the equipped but equipping the called.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>David did not have the stature, reputation,
lineage or looks of a King but he is who God chose to lead his people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Peter was a brash, outspoken fisherman who
had a penchant for offending and yet God chose Peter to be the pillar of the
church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Scripture tells us again and
again how in our weakness HE makes us strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That He uses the things of the foolish to confound the wise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do not know exactly why God called US to
be Benjamin Lilu’s parents but we know that He did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><u>In spite of</u> our weaknesses, our
deficiencies and our lack of cash on hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And, you know what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is only
one thing to be said:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WE did not do
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>GOD did this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HE made this happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was nothing we could have done
ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been totally
dependent on God opening each door, providing each financial blessing, bringing
people who want to be a part of Benjamin’s story into our lives… from ALL OVER
THE WORLD!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This boy is a true
miracle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the credit goes solely to
God, our/his Father. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why are you adopting
when you don’t have another bedroom to spare in your house? (The answer flows
right into the answer of “Why China?”)</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Short answer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because
we believe God called us to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Longer answer:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Benjamin Lilu has lived in an orphanage… an institution… for all but 6
months of his 6 years of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has
lived tightly sandwiched in the midst of a small band of orphans each night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While here in America the youth dream of (and
some insist on) having their own room, in China they can’t even fathom the
concept of having their own bed, their own clothes, their own toys… their own
ANYTHING!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NOTHING belongs to THEM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They own nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They belong to no one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even their names are chosen simply reflecting
where they live and what year they entered the orphanage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are not TRULY “named”… named in the
sense of being acknowledged as precious, longed for, cared for, advocated for, provided
for, protected, loved, fed, comforted, healed… In our western sensibilities we
have placed “space”, financial affluence and security, possessions, titles,
prestige on the top of the list of our values.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God turns that upside down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
his kingdom, the first shall be last.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And the last shall be first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
you want to be great, you must be a servant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Blessed are the poor in spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Blessed are the meek.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blessed are
those who mourn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s kingdom, to us,
seems subversive… crazy at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
yet, once one realizes that they are indeed the poor, the meek, the ones who
mourn… when they strip all the facades away… this kingdom is the one they can
be a part of… not just to live there but as a son or daughter of the King with
a full inheritance and overwhelming grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In light of God’s kingdom, the number of bedrooms we have in our house,
or square footage in our house, or cup holders in our minivan, do NOT
matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This little life that has
burrowed its way into our hearts is what really matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter what.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-34997396015606389552013-12-04T12:05:00.003-05:002013-12-04T12:05:26.760-05:00SURPRISE~!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVmHmNRBrs6kMGWugcWdVbzJQg9di3Q9FSX-4i5OyMAKEDAcvEGA_EsU2D6dM2jv5OZUFLMZOi0qzmHSPiCnBnjbBsUweKcJHNU1JFVogdZ1YPf99o-_VB8cdWEcBuq6tvU-LEUA/s1600/Article+5+announcement.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVmHmNRBrs6kMGWugcWdVbzJQg9di3Q9FSX-4i5OyMAKEDAcvEGA_EsU2D6dM2jv5OZUFLMZOi0qzmHSPiCnBnjbBsUweKcJHNU1JFVogdZ1YPf99o-_VB8cdWEcBuq6tvU-LEUA/s320/Article+5+announcement.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Our
Article 5 came in which means all we are waiting for now is Travel
Approval and then we can schedule our trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We
are still doing all we can to raise the funds for our flights. Feel
free to shop for Christmas gifts at one of the following sites... a
portion of the price goes toward our airfare!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<ul style="text-align: center;">
<li><a href="http://new.pamperedchef.com/pws/melissabaldwin/guest-landing/885100853570" target="_blank">Pampered Chef</a></li>
<li><a href="http://baldwinbrood.olivetreepromise.com/" target="_blank">Olive Tree Promise</a> (gifts from all around the globe!)</li>
</ul>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-85945635951549312772013-11-27T13:58:00.002-05:002013-11-27T13:58:36.085-05:00Once you know...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqr9-ZlWduUmblAryMdkEmNWt_AFou6GYW_nQu1oHlCSCwb1ay0ZhnyeKs7WILv-90v9yi7IxP7Fm0KyXAvmgy0rNRgAh2oeCc3Lu09Jwdq6LuE0SfrqxB_uLw3HAMjrbrOUFh/s1600/2226+Ivelina+Elenova+Valcheva02.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqr9-ZlWduUmblAryMdkEmNWt_AFou6GYW_nQu1oHlCSCwb1ay0ZhnyeKs7WILv-90v9yi7IxP7Fm0KyXAvmgy0rNRgAh2oeCc3Lu09Jwdq6LuE0SfrqxB_uLw3HAMjrbrOUFh/s320/2226+Ivelina+Elenova+Valcheva02.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Meet "Cassy".<br />
<br />
"Cassy" will be 14 in January which means that in 2 years she will "age out" and will no longer have the chance to experience a forever family. She will be turned out into the street... no "food stamps", no welfare, no support, no housing, no job placement.<br />
<br />
In Eastern Europe alone, there are an estimated 1.5 million orphaned
children who live in conditions similar to what I just described. <b>
Statistically, less than half of orphaned Eastern European children will
live to see their twentieth birthday</b>. Of those who do survive into
their twenties, more than half of them will end up in organized crime,
prostitution and drug use. Approximately one in ten of those children
who are not adopted will commit suicide. <u>Many of the adolescent girls
will end up as victims of sex trafficking, which is rampant and thriving
throughout Eastern Europe.</u><br />
<br />
In "Cassy's" case in particular, because of her coloring she is even more stigmatized. To many people in her country she looks "Roma" (the modern term for "gypsy") and there is a high level of discrimination and prejudice associated with "Romas". Her options in life would be extremely limited.<br />
<br />
She is healthy, bright, musical and eager to have a mother and father and family to call her own. <br />
<br />
PLEASE. <br />
<br />
You can not say you do not know now. <br />
<br />
You have seen her face. <br />
<br />
You know what the statistics are. They do not bode well for "Cassy".<br />
<br />
Share her story. Share her picture. Help her find a family. Help her find her potential. Help her find life.<br />
<br />
* To view a video of "Cassy" please contact me at beediva22 (at) gmail (dot) com<br />
*For more information on "Cassy" please contact Nina Thompson at <a href="http://www.childrenshouseinternational.org/" target="_blank">Children's House International</a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-45142134084947630412013-11-22T12:02:00.000-05:002013-11-22T12:02:31.652-05:00Special Letter to Family and FriendsVery soon we’ll be bringing Benjamin Lilu home and starting the process of
becoming a new and larger family. This is an exciting and scary time
for us – and will probably be especially frightening for Benjamin. In his
short life, he’s gone through more changes and life-altering
experiences than most adults could handle. He’s experienced the loss
of a birth mother, experienced the loss of his second “home” in the
midst of a health crisis, and will soon experience the loss of familiar
caretakers, and the sights, sounds, smells, and language of his birth
country. His entire world will be turned upside down; he will be
disoriented and confused. <u>He will have no reason to trust us</u> – no way
to know that <b>we are safe, </b>that <b>he is secure in our care</b>, and that <b>we
will meet his needs</b>.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEMoYQWEoCv8iN2Npmm0z0wn8bMSCOhbf3OPsLEKnggzh4V2Roga_7HQqzeusVceKSkZmTs2QeqnC7XkgXDUzIXHwGGPaF5OSzZL10rLxNB5nythfxclo4refFpXeRqjPatn0hqA/s1600/going+back+to+china+9.23.13.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEMoYQWEoCv8iN2Npmm0z0wn8bMSCOhbf3OPsLEKnggzh4V2Roga_7HQqzeusVceKSkZmTs2QeqnC7XkgXDUzIXHwGGPaF5OSzZL10rLxNB5nythfxclo4refFpXeRqjPatn0hqA/s320/going+back+to+china+9.23.13.jpg" width="240" /></a><u><b>This process of learning to trust us, to bond and attach with our
family, may take weeks, months, or years</b></u>. We expect it to get easier
over time, but things are going to be a little strange at first and we
ask that you please understand and support our attachment plan. It is not
our intention to shut anyone out of our lives or offend any friends in
this process. But Benjamin will need us to have certain boundaries in
place to develop a strong and healthy attachment to us.<br />
<br />
It will help immensely if adults limit what is <b>typically</b> considered
normal physical contact with our son. For awhile, this includes
things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. Children from
orphanages are prone to “attach” to anyone and everyone – which disrupts
his ability to attach to us. <span style="color: red;"><b><i><u>Waving, blowing kisses, or high fives are
perfectly appropriate and welcome! </u></i></b></span> We want Benjamin to know our family
and friends – and interact with them!<br />
<br />
Benjamin had a mother care for him for several months, and then relied
on a stream of different adults for almost 6 years to meet his needs.
He’s learned to
compete for the attention of every adult for basic things like food,
clothing, comfort… Charming any available adult becomes a survival
technique. While it works in an orphanage, it’s dangerous in our
world. It’s not safe for Benjamin to ask random strangers for a hug; in
order to learn healthy, appropriate boundaries, he needs to begin by
learning that we are the two people responsible for meeting his needs.
For a time, we will be the only ones to give him food, water, comfort
him, take him to the restroom and so on. If he asks you for something –
<b>
please</b> <u>ask us</u>. For awhile it may look like we’re spoiling him – but he
needs to understand what role we play in his life and he needs to know
we are dependable and constant.<br />
<br />
Also understand that our very busy, very active family – will be
dramatically limiting our activities and events for awhile. Local
friends – you probably won’t see us at every field trip, every club
meeting, every birthday party – at least for a little bit. Large or
small gatherings, parties, events will not be a
priority in the beginning – but it’s not permanent, and it’s not
personal. At this point, we don’t know entirely what degree of medical
treatment and therapy we may be facing with him, too. We will be tired,
busy tending to him and learning about him, forming emotional bonds,
and getting through our days one day at a time. We are eager to
introduce him to everybody – but it may not be for a little while. <u><b>With one exception!</b></u> If you would like to be part of our welcoming committee at the airport, we would LOVE to see you!<br />
<br />
<br />
The lives of each member of our family will be topsy-turvy for
awhile, and we ask for your understanding as we navigate this new
world. We are obviously far from experts in this, but doing what we
believe to be best for Benjamin. We look forward to introducing him in
person to so many of our friends and family, and hope you understand why
some of our parenting decisions will look as they do with him.<br />
<br />
Here’s an interesting analogy of what adoption looks like to an internationally adopted child:<br />
<a href="http://benjaminandholly.blogspot.com/2009/04/attachment-analogy.html" target="_blank" title="The Wedding">http://benjaminandholly.blogspot.com/2009/04/attachment-analogy.html</a><br />
<br />
And another great illustration of what adopted children go through:<br />
<a href="http://shaungroves.com/2011/01/the-list/" target="_blank" title="The List">http://shaungroves.com/2011/01/the-list/</a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-11380522266661935672013-10-28T11:02:00.001-04:002013-10-28T11:02:12.196-04:00Day 123Day 123 of waiting (really, God?) - Psalm 123<br /><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I lift my eyes to you,<br /> O God, enthroned in heaven.</blockquote>
<br />Today I feel like Hannah who wept bitterly (yes... the Bible says "bitterly") before the Lord (1 Samuel 1:10), pleading for her son. This wait has been excruciating, filled with moments of <br />
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frustration and even intense fear when we had no news on his physical condition. It is already very clear to us that Benjamin Lilu belongs to the Lord... he is evidence of God's providence and glory... his miraculous life can't be chalked up to "fate" or "luck"... it is God's hand at work in his life, even to the point of saving it. Every adoption starts with brokenness. It begins with a tragedy. To add to that the physical anguish that Benjamin has lived through in his short 5 1/2 years... well, it's almost unbearable. The wonder of it all is that we get the opportunity to see God's redemptive work in his life. We even get to participate in it. Nevertheless, my prayer today is "O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to you for help!" (borrowing from Psalm 141 - oh, dear Lord... please do not let us get to Psalm 141!)Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-30525800143615807912013-10-26T14:20:00.001-04:002013-10-26T14:40:18.846-04:00I Look To The Mountains...This adoption journey has been a roller coaster of sorts... which, now that I think of it, is pretty much like our other adoptions, just all on different tracks. Highs that can carry us for days. Lows that temporarily paralyze us. Twists and turns that can either thrill or alarm. A few times we've gone up that slow steep track getting ready for the next racing plummet. It's hurry up and wait. It's double-checking. It's paper cuts from all the forms. Staring at the face of a stranger we will call "son". We fasten our harnesses and hang on. The comfort we have in all of this is that this ride, as daunting as it may be, will NEVER jump the track.<br />
<br />
When we started this process I was determined to set a record for the fastest Waiting Child adoption ever. I know, surprises you all. I combed websites, filled out paperwork, gathered documents, attended our required online training sessions, read our required books... all at record speed. We informed our agency on March 14, 2013 of our intentions to adopt Benjamin Lilu. On June 26th all of our paperwork was sent to China (home study, initial immigration approval) all notarized, certified and authenticated. We expected that we would possibly travel in October based on current time lines and our approved medical expedite with immigration. After not hearing any updates for weeks, our agency was finally informed that our paperwork had been "misplaced" and hadn't even been logged into the system until August 13th. Then several weeks later expecting to hear we had approval, we received a request for more documents.<br />
<br />
With our most recent delay I was encouraged by another adoptive mom to read the Psalm that corresponded with the number of days we had been waiting. So, I counted back to June 26th and started digging into the Psalms.<br />
<br />
Today was Day 121.<br />
<br />
Today I read Psalm 121.<br />
<br />
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<span class="text Ps-121-1" id="en-NLT-16059">Psalm 121</span></h3>
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<span class="text Ps-121-1"></span></h4>
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<span class="text Ps-121-1"><sup class="versenum">1 </sup>I look up to the mountains—</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-1">does my help come from there?</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-121-2" id="en-NLT-16060"><sup class="versenum">2 </sup>My help comes from the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-2">who made heaven and earth!</span></span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-121-3" id="en-NLT-16061"><sup class="versenum">3 </sup>He will not let you stumble;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-3">the one who watches over you will not slumber.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-121-4" id="en-NLT-16062"><sup class="versenum">4 </sup>Indeed, he who watches over Israel</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-4">never slumbers or sleeps.</span></span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-121-5" id="en-NLT-16063"><sup class="versenum">5 </sup>The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> himself watches over you!</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-5">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> stands beside you as your protective shade.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-121-6" id="en-NLT-16064"><sup class="versenum">6 </sup>The sun will not harm you by day,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-6">nor the moon at night.</span></span></div>
</div>
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<span class="text Ps-121-7" id="en-NLT-16065"><sup class="versenum">7 </sup>The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> keeps you from all harm</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-7">and watches over your life.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-121-8" id="en-NLT-16066"><sup class="versenum">8 </sup>The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> keeps watch over you as you come and go,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-121-8">both now and forever.</span></span></div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<br />
I have heard this Psalm since I was a little girl but reading it again today I was taken back to the moment when this Psalm came to life for me. <br />
<br />
I was 20 years old and house managing for a production of "Diary of Anne Frank". I will never forget hearing my friend, Carmen Beauxbeaux, as Mrs. Frank reciting Psalm 121 as the Franks and fellow attic-mates celebrated Hanukkah. Night after night I heard these words spoken in the context of one of the most abhorrent moments in human history. Carmen spoke them strong and clear, infusing Mrs. Frank with a quiet confidence in her God.<br />
<br />
As the memory washed over me I was overwhelmed by my lack of faith. I have trouble trusting God in every area of my life. Yet for one to speak the words of Psalm 121 in the face of annihilation... well, it seems impossible.<br />
<br />
Oh me of little faith. Forces me to my knees. Destroys me. Brings me to Mark 9:24 as I say along with the father begging for healing for his son, "Lord, <span class="text Mark-9-24" id="en-NLT-24535">I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”</span></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-86825986179087253952013-09-26T02:30:00.000-04:002018-03-28T10:45:28.639-04:00Abba Daddy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Sunday my brother preached on Luke 11:1-13 (Typically
known as the Lord’s Prayer, although some have coined the term, “The Disciples’
Prayer”).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The message was comprehensive
but I just couldn’t get past the very first point – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Lord’s Prayer reminds us of our <u>identity</u>.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Jesus starts to teach the disciples how
to pray, he begins with the word “Father” to address God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8BDF2xCgYUxdkmgi-RZcXR2myx2jfCoaTiL7bKJwP-lee7QLSOgS5tFV23BNdzcZVf3AdZdVylz7WIxEhgI7lSTAKsAbwKJDzTY_fH1KR9VxWuo_BnZAiu6X33rbAUbnpKVug/s1600/Abba-Father.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8BDF2xCgYUxdkmgi-RZcXR2myx2jfCoaTiL7bKJwP-lee7QLSOgS5tFV23BNdzcZVf3AdZdVylz7WIxEhgI7lSTAKsAbwKJDzTY_fH1KR9VxWuo_BnZAiu6X33rbAUbnpKVug/s320/Abba-Father.jpg" width="320" /></a>The actual word “Father” that he uses cannot be found in any
other Jewish Literature to refer to God leading up to that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a term of endearment, “Abba”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was addressing God as we would address our
“daddies”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very informal, familiar,
intimate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Matt remarked that it was interesting
to note that Jesus starts every prayer we see in scripture with <s>“Father” </s>“Abba”
with only ONE exception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As Jesus
endured all of the punishment for every sin in all of humanity in our place, he
cried, “My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one time he prays “God” and not “Abba” is
precisely why we (you and I) can now call God <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">our Father</b> as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem comes when I forget that I’m a child of God---
adopted into his family in an eternal covenant of grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As Matt stated, “I forget that I’m a child of
God and start acting like an orphan.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
if I have no one who has embraced me “no matter what”, drawn me in and called
me by a new name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I struggle to remember
who I am and who my “Abba” (“Daddy”) is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The concept of God as a father has not always resonated with
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father and I spent many years in
a relationship fraught with conflict (I did get his permission to publish this
first).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my childish eyes, I
associated discipline with punishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
read his fear as anger. And I internalized his “teaching” as me never being
“good enough”… there was always something I could have done better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A picture of a god like that did not appeal
to me in the slightest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition I
grew up knowing that I had had a birth father that was killed when I was 7
weeks old and it left a big empty hole in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t imagine God or anyone else for
that matter taking their place in the void I carried with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was instead drawn to scriptures that highlighted
his more “feminine” traits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Verses like
Matthew 23:37 where God says, “…How often would I have gathered your children together
as a <b>hen</b> gathers her brood under her wings…” or references to God being
our “hiding place” or refuge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These made
sense to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My dad will be the first one to tell you that sometime in my
early 20’s God worked a healing in our relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was able then to take God in his entirety…
both his male and female attributes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think another moment when I found a new level of
understanding God as my Father/Daddy was when we adopted our daughter from
China.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In China the word for Daddy is
“Baba”… so very close to “Abba”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
first time I heard my daughter call Larry “Baba”, a shift happened again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen Larry parent all of our other
children and do it well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What made this
situation different was the fact that this little girl, who had never seen,
heard, or smelled a “white” person in her life, was calling this stranger,
“Baba” not knowing that for many months this Daddy had gazed at pictures of
her, prayed for her daily, prepared for her, worked hard to get to her and to finally give her a true home and a “Baba”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I thought of all that Larry had done and given to make
this child his own I grasped anew all that God had done to make me part of <b>His</b>
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the “work” that went into
bringing Madeleine home is nothing compared to what God did so that I could be
adopted and call him “Abba/Daddy”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, what was my “take away”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To continually remind myself who I am and who my Daddy is… to keep this
as the lens through which I see everything else… my joys, my worship, my
marriage, my parenting, my confidence (or lack thereof) and my trials… God is
MY Daddy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is completely in
control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything thing that happens
in my life, easy or difficult, tragic or joyous is ultimately for my good and
His glory.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-74139302674425036592013-09-18T22:04:00.000-04:002013-09-18T22:04:44.657-04:00UpdateI have several things I'd like to share with you (and some will have to wait until after Benjamin comes home!)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0IuKG1GYu742xVHsjP8wc0-FPbwma8AIs4HTsnnaOVpYevkEEpHfzpTpALIi9v-Zi9FZ7q4a6G_ktmlcuQyCC0r9iBhBXkzuaoqsMQw6fUnBtOUfZSAh9RLxL4VKZ9YmK1WBjmg/s1600/israel+september+cropped.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0IuKG1GYu742xVHsjP8wc0-FPbwma8AIs4HTsnnaOVpYevkEEpHfzpTpALIi9v-Zi9FZ7q4a6G_ktmlcuQyCC0r9iBhBXkzuaoqsMQw6fUnBtOUfZSAh9RLxL4VKZ9YmK1WBjmg/s320/israel+september+cropped.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Benjamin Li</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
First of all, our Rummage Sale was incredibly
successful thanks to help from some amazing friends and donors of items
and Canyon Community Church who graciously allowed us to use their yard,
parking lot and tables.<br />
<br />
Second, we did get a little
bad news last week... apparently after we sent our dossier (paperwork)
to China, it was "misplaced" for about 6 weeks. Typically a dossier get
a log in date within days of them receiving it. Instead, although we
sent ours at the end of June, it was not logged in until August 13th.
While this is discouraging, we know God's timing is perfect and we also
have the assurance that Benjamin is receiving excellent care right now.<br />
<br />
Which
leads to my other news... Benjamin is physically doing very well. So
well that we may not have to take oxygen with us for our flight home!
God is performing miracles every day in the life of our little boy. We
are continually in a state of amazement as we see God working in ways we
could never have even dreamed up. I, personally, can not wait for him
to come home so that we can share his <u><b>whole</b></u> story with you.<br />
<br />
I
have been so overwhelmed by all the support we have been given by
family, friends and even strangers. One of the hidden benefits of
adoption is that the adoption world is fairly small. When it comes to
International Adoption it becomes even smaller. It is smaller still
when one is specifically adopting from China. And then smaller still
when adopting a child with special needs. There are wonderful Facebook
groups and Yahoo groups for each of these "worlds". I have made some
very dear friends, simply through going through the adoption process at
the same time. When we adopted Madeleine in 2005, we were part of Yahoo
group then also. I got to meet up with 2 of them in China and still
keep in touch with about 5 of them. My sister/buddy back in 2005 was
from Michigan (this is when we lived right on the Michigan/Indiana
border) and was named Melissa also. We had fun with that, became
wonderful cyber friends and then met up in China with our girls and
husbands. The funny thing is that Melissa W. is in my current adoption
group too! They are adopting again right at the exact same time as us!<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvMLGYopv-lrjp4IExuQRXdRSPEnyTfkFfiJSOFJ_hsONZAIRihfGmvyS56N0pP341O1dX9V1sNruiomKzhNFJ8HPgYpkCvUK5sTFM07lWnXEjifk2fTHmBf3wDoPX0UC7wHqlUQ/s1600/Melissa+and+Laura+edit.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvMLGYopv-lrjp4IExuQRXdRSPEnyTfkFfiJSOFJ_hsONZAIRihfGmvyS56N0pP341O1dX9V1sNruiomKzhNFJ8HPgYpkCvUK5sTFM07lWnXEjifk2fTHmBf3wDoPX0UC7wHqlUQ/s320/Melissa+and+Laura+edit.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Melissa and Laura</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Another person I have grown to love so much is my
dear, dear friend, Laura Kessler. She is adopting the most smiley
toddler I have ever seen from the same agency as us and is a few weeks
ahead of us in the process (well, actually probably a little more now
with our hiccup in our timeline). We talk, text, email almost every
day. We've intently studied our boys' pictures and videos and have them
memorized. AND her son's name? Benjamin! I feel like God gave me
Laura as a special gift and I will be forever thankful for someone to
laugh with, cry with, get frustrated with, dream with, and wait with.<br />
<br />
Keep checking back here! Very soon we will be having an online auction on the blog, <a href="http://www.bringbenjaminhome.com/" target="_blank">Bring Benjamin Home</a>, with some exciting items! Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-3894162867402968742013-09-12T00:36:00.001-04:002013-09-12T00:46:59.394-04:00Time Is Running OutThe fate of an orphan in China varies dramatically from those children here in the United States that need families. Besides being institutionalized, once a Chinese orphan turns 14 they are no longer able to be adopted - either internationally or domestically. They "age out" of the system. They have missed their opportunity to ever have a family.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZeQ472LjdxJUqMOcTu86_7IlbFo1m7uaR53MEou8HyO3_LU0rj6idbYXODN43BM49KmnfEAW4Df9fcLksyGisudZ9zik7pll0Vf1mSzZb1SB3fWMWuyil-YXJjF3yjo17Vg1P/s1600/web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZeQ472LjdxJUqMOcTu86_7IlbFo1m7uaR53MEou8HyO3_LU0rj6idbYXODN43BM49KmnfEAW4Df9fcLksyGisudZ9zik7pll0Vf1mSzZb1SB3fWMWuyil-YXJjF3yjo17Vg1P/s1600/web.jpg" /></a>Meet Adalai. Adalai's original paperwork stated that she was born in January of 2001. That meant there was only a little more than a year to find her a family. It was recently learned that Adalai's birthday was listed incorrectly and is in fact January of 2000. This means she has FOUR months to find a family. Adalai is also Hepatitis B + (for more information on this special need, please contact me privately).<br />
<br />
Because of the urgency, a family who is homestudy ready or is able to reuse a dossier has the best chance of getting her home.<br />
<br />
Adalai is listed with our agency, <a href="http://www.childrenshouseinternational.com/" target="_blank">Children's House International</a>, and we are desperate to find a forever family for her. Adalai lived with a foster family for two years, when her foster family
had an emergency she was sent back to the SWI and has lived there for
the last 8 years.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsPwDO_jxhhNOKKHX_zNqmc0BsEHZCUDAIhEXoz3ka_eVfjZBDmkQwpFvla8kqFOBstl4C9daK3QPrcrqHtmYBlLP-6_neWkhLAoUA1R9gm06BiHTQPbTHQCDGjQV_H83NGQQg/s1600/China+trip+261.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsPwDO_jxhhNOKKHX_zNqmc0BsEHZCUDAIhEXoz3ka_eVfjZBDmkQwpFvla8kqFOBstl4C9daK3QPrcrqHtmYBlLP-6_neWkhLAoUA1R9gm06BiHTQPbTHQCDGjQV_H83NGQQg/s320/China+trip+261.JPG" width="240" /></a><br />
Adalai often volunteers to help her teachers as well as other students,
was elected as student of the week, and gets along well with her
classmates. Adalai loves to sing, run, play games, weave bracelets, draw
beautiful pictures, and as any teenage girl her age
loves Hong Kong
dramas! Adalai is a fantastic artist, has a beautiful voice and truly
wants to find a forever family. She is active at school, leads other
children in exercise classes, and works hard to improve her academic
abilities. Her SWI describes Adalai as lovely, lively, and liked by
everybody. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqHFDSdsIs7ef9nU7AejZo4U8W-xWIrw95Pt_TEHr5V-xPSPLHS6hCp3jVIKvRVjvd2qds9LtpzDEBP6K7yfTpOU4-iZ6OeDMa1o1-rxyWzTf0y1a4jAfPunSjk-adbzmBqfYE/s1600/web+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqHFDSdsIs7ef9nU7AejZo4U8W-xWIrw95Pt_TEHr5V-xPSPLHS6hCp3jVIKvRVjvd2qds9LtpzDEBP6K7yfTpOU4-iZ6OeDMa1o1-rxyWzTf0y1a4jAfPunSjk-adbzmBqfYE/s1600/web+2.png" /></a>Her last trip to the doctor for testing reported all normal findings
indicating that she has fully recovered from the HBV virus. But Adalai
suffers from a mild degree of disturbance in her language ability and a
moderate degree of operation capabilities. The SWI believes this is
because she has been brought up in an institution and did not receive
sufficient early education. Despite all this Adalai has shown great
progress in math, reading, writing, and mathematics. We just know this
young girl will thrive when she finds her forever family!<br />
<br />
PLEASE- Please consider Adalai or consider advocating for her amongst your friends and family. Time is running out for this precious girl.<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Qnb9yLmOTZY" width="560"></iframe>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-53993715064824114812013-08-01T20:11:00.001-04:002013-08-01T20:11:07.473-04:00Organic - Fair - Sustainable<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLFvOmhqe01y1VHgtUTaTmdNnHSla0AXRH6AhVMyBAPxZYaqsiQpW-POuDzRmcqgloZb-giFKBkZV4JllfRxt9yGnRgOUK2eBK8YL413GRSntbxeRwGtTs1DdIB2jFud-BkVBe/s1600/JLC_Banner_125x150.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLFvOmhqe01y1VHgtUTaTmdNnHSla0AXRH6AhVMyBAPxZYaqsiQpW-POuDzRmcqgloZb-giFKBkZV4JllfRxt9yGnRgOUK2eBK8YL413GRSntbxeRwGtTs1DdIB2jFud-BkVBe/s1600/JLC_Banner_125x150.jpg" /></a>Calling all you coffee lovers out there! Your purchase of organic, fair and sustainable coffee could help bring Benjamin home!<br />
<br />
How can you help?<br />
<ul>
<li>Click on the link below and select some amazing coffee to purchase!</li>
<li>SHARE the link with family, friends, organizations, churches, offices, ANYONE who buys, drinks or makes coffee and appreciates quality!</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/benjamin/" target="_blank">Just Love Coffee</a> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4J9LocbvJuuxhDqdoanfyXcG-il8g1y9X3y3s4jkJV6SqKHcQB1Y2ckY9_PN9JfsV6tSKkKYHttIh0ED86FoDFKUF584R7Y0ilPaRU6C86HSp_XE-77r85MsP81m2MdjZfO1i/s1600/JustLoveCoffee-Logo-Tag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4J9LocbvJuuxhDqdoanfyXcG-il8g1y9X3y3s4jkJV6SqKHcQB1Y2ckY9_PN9JfsV6tSKkKYHttIh0ED86FoDFKUF584R7Y0ilPaRU6C86HSp_XE-77r85MsP81m2MdjZfO1i/s320/JustLoveCoffee-Logo-Tag.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22647735.post-77257351050249414992013-07-31T16:08:00.000-04:002013-07-31T16:09:37.729-04:00Justice vs. GraceThose of you who know me personally know that I value justice. It seems that, from the time I was very little, justice has been very important to me (just ask my brothers how often I tattled on them). I remember very distinctly during a college World Drama class becoming surprisingly emotional when we covered "Phaedra" by Jean Racine. My spirit rebelled against the lack of personal responsibility from the lead characters and the inevitability of "the fates".<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRznwF5tTIxHwdaCvDbA6L1o4q7O6EMMo7HYdzqBMoqBwHm-ub0JFKYQ_jHf2qO1uEZdMmKyPwXvz1a-FMQE7jr4pnVX6GfoVYTUkcjDqefp6osP1jpxkPkwvAl_24lEJzbWEO/s1600/Pointing-A-Finger.Accusing1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRznwF5tTIxHwdaCvDbA6L1o4q7O6EMMo7HYdzqBMoqBwHm-ub0JFKYQ_jHf2qO1uEZdMmKyPwXvz1a-FMQE7jr4pnVX6GfoVYTUkcjDqefp6osP1jpxkPkwvAl_24lEJzbWEO/s320/Pointing-A-Finger.Accusing1.jpg" width="213" /></a>As I grew older and became more aware of how true justice could rip my world apart... that the consequences of my own actions could be serious enough to maim me forever... I found my grip on justice slowly loosening. I began to acknowledge my true hunger for grace. The more I craved grace for myself, the less I found it existed in the world at large. I will never forget sitting in a church as a visitor and listening to the pastor preach grace... I started weeping and could barely breathe as my heart ached desperately for that grace to be poured out on me. The seed had been planted for the true gospel to began a transformation in me.<br />
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Not long after, I led a group of women through <a href="http://www.navigators.org/us/staff/bridges" target="_blank">Jerry Bridges'</a> study, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Grace-Living-Confidently-Unfailing/dp/1600063039/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375299890&sr=1-1&keywords=transforming+grace" target="_blank">Transforming Grace</a>". I was suddenly convicted that I was withholding the grace that I craved from the people around me. Grace was great if it was lavished on me, but I wasn't about to show that same grace to others... especially if they had hurt me, were "unfair" or didn't seek reconciliation or forgiveness. I <strike>was</strike> am the Ungrateful Servant of <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018&version=ESV" target="_blank">Matthew 18:21-35</a>. Suddenly my quest for justice didn't seem so righteous anymore.<br />
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During this time, I was struggling deeply with unrelenting anger toward a couple of people who I felt had abused their position and mistreated me. My visceral reaction was to launch into a defense crusade for myself and at the same time engage in a smear campaign against them. I was with a group of local worship leaders who gathered on a semi-regular basis for support and encouragement and as we were praying one of the women looked up and said, "Melissa, I think God has a verse for you." A little apprehensively I said, "Ok...what is it?" She sat next to me and had me turn to Exodus 14:14.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text Exod-14-14" id="en-ESV-1904"><sup class="versenum">14 </sup>The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (ESV)</span></blockquote>
WHAT?! Be SILENT??!! What about justice? What about restitution? What about clearing my name?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text Exod-14-14" id="en-ESV-1904"><sup class="versenum">14 </sup>The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (ESV)</span></blockquote>
I had to confront myself... did I trust that God would take care of this situation, the people involved and me? Did I have faith in His Sovereignty?<br />
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I still fight a daily battle against my sense of justice and for the gospel of grace. Today, in fact, I encountered another situation where I believed I had been misrepresented and subsequently mistreated. I was hurt, discouraged and livid. Unfortunately my old nature made the first move. I sat down at my computer and wrote an <strike>angry</strike> polite dissertation on my innocence, my worth and how I had been wronged. Fortunately, that still small voice of the Holy Spirit said, "Don't hit send! Show it to someone you trust FIRST." So I did.<br />
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My dear friend was empathetic but nevertheless spoke truth into my life (which is what being a real friend is all about).<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Justice is for the faithless." She said.</blockquote>
It stopped me in mid-send-button. What she was saying to me is demanding my attention and forcing me to ask those same "trust" questions I've asked before and will probably be asking until the day I die. Do I trust Him? I want the answer to be... "yes". <br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10609869335527809048noreply@blogger.com0