Twenty Years and Counting...

I know I've been terrible the last few months about updating my blog. Life gets a little crazy sometimes. In July, Larry and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. We kept is a small celebration because we had booked our BIG celebration for September! On September 8 we flew into Newark and then took a car service over to NY and our hotel...the Marriott Marquis! We stayed in New York until the morning of the 11th when we took a cab to Brooklyn and got on a cruise ship that took us to Newport, RI, Boston, Bar Harbor, St Johns, New Brunswick and Halifax, Nova Scotia. What a trip...it was so fun and so relaxing and really a dream vacation. Here's some of my favorite shots from the trip: (more to follow as I edit!)

Grace in Small Things # 1

I am joining the ranks of Grace in Small Things. I need this right now. (Thank you, LoveDrunk! You inspired me!) You can join me...it's so simple and so often just the thing we need.

1. My new house closing this week.

2. A husband who (even though he's sick) made me my favorite kind of egg (over-easy) with a slice of toast for breakfast.

3. A preschooler who loves to use her imagination.

4. Hot coffee (made by my wonderful husband, of course) waiting when I wake up.

5. Having the memory increased on my computer so it runs like a dream (silly, huh? but so great!)

For My Dad...

Larry and I had a very intense dating relationship. Things got serious very quickly and at one point the inevitable happened. We broke up. (I say “inevitable” because I think any couple with that intense of a relationship needs one good break up before the lifelong commitment.) I remember the night clearly… it was raining and we were standing outside my studio apartment in Pt. Loma and he told me (and can I just say I get intense pleasure from reminding him), “God has someone for everyone and I don’t think we’re it for each other.” Now at the time I was absolutely convinced that he was “the one” so this completely shattered my heart into a gazillion pieces. But in the midst of this, Larry and God gave me a gift.



You see, after Larry left I walked back to my apartment and called my mom and dad who were about 20 minutes away. It was late at night and I woke my dad up. Through tears I asked my dad if I could come home for the night. He said, “Of course…I get the spare room ready.” (Now, this meant a sleeping bag on the floor but I wanted home more than a bed at the moment.) So, I jumped in my car and, listening to sappy music, cried my way home.



A little background: My dad came into my life about 7 months after my birth father was killed in Vietnam. Some mutual friends had invited my mom and dad to a picnic and my dad says that when he saw my mom walking across the grass with me he knew she was the one he would marry. But things did not come easily for me and Dad. Both of us had passionate, strong, choleric temperaments and would butt heads at every corner. He was also a strong disciplinarian while I was one who always had to learn the hard way… not the best combination. I began struggling with depression as a teen and it often came out in anger while my Dad also struggled with anger. We fought so often and things were so tense that it is often hard for me to come up with tender, warm memories of my time growing up with him. Even our physical affection like hugs and kissed was strained at best. When I reached college he began a transformation. He was in the midst of this when I called in tears that rainy night.



When I arrived home, my dad was waiting up for me. He let me in the front door and I remember clearly that he didn’t push me to talk or ask me why I was crying. I went into the spare room and crawled into the sleeping bag and sobbed into my pillow. After a few minutes I heard someone kneeling down beside me. Soon a hand started stroking my head. It was my dad. He never said a word. Just let me cry. This was my gift. A beautiful, tender memory with my dad. I will never forget it. While things would still become rocky at times between us, this memory was burned in my heart forever.



So to the two most important dads in my life:



Larry: Thank you for giving me that moment with my dad. Oh, and for deciding that you were wrong. God did mean for us to be together.



Dad: Thank you for just letting me cry. Thank you for sitting there until I fell asleep, worn out with tears. Thank you for the tenderness you showed me that night. I love you.

Happy Father’s Day

Wanna see somethin' cute?

Isn't he adorable? And I love him even more almost 18 years later!

(And.. yes. That is an 80's/early 90's perm under that veil.)

Barack Visits South Bend

Yesterday, I dragged my Republican husband to Washington High School to see Barack Obama in person. I can't begin to describe the beauty of the diversity present so all I will say is that there was every age, race and economic status represented. I spent most of the 2 1/2 hours of waiting for the appearance just people watching and I must say it felt like a taste of heaven. Here is just a little clip from last night.

Baby, I love your way...

• the way you love our children


• the way your eyes are sometimes green and sometimes brown


• the way you remember every important date in our journey together
  
• the way your lower lip juts out when you're thinking deeply
  
• the way you kiss me on the forehead before you go to sleep when I'm already asleep (you probably think I don't know you do this...but I am always dreamily aware when you do)

• the way you mist up when you think of our children getting married someday


• the way you think and learn...you are the smartest man I know


• the way you let me sleep and gets the kids out the door to school when you're home


• the way you get protective with me and the kids


• the way all you wanted to be when you "grew up" was a good husband and a good dad





• the way you tell the kids stories at bedtime





• the way you look at me and say with tenderness, "Pobrecita"


• the way we've built a long history of muddling through life's ups, downs, surprises and defeats, wonder and growth


• the way you sigh and say, "I don't know, Melissa..." when we're discussing something serious


• the way you love the gospel


• the way you view "time"


• the way we've made our family


• the way you love me No Matter What

sobering conversations...

On the way to the airport to drop off Larry...

Mommy: Maddie, when Daddy and I brought you back from China this is where we came. And there were lots and lots of people at the airport waiting for us so that they could meet you!

(long pause)

Maddie (from her car seat): My birth mommy didn't want me and left me on the street.

(even longer pause as a rock hits my gut and Larry freezes)

Mommy: Who told you that?

Maddie: Emma. But Jesus took care of me and got me to the doctors.

Mommy (chickening out of dealing with the first comment for the time being): You are right about that. Jesus DID take care of you.

Maddie: And then you came and got me.


Later I tried to explain that her birth mommy did want her but wasn't able to take care of her. She just kept talking about us. I'm not sure what she understands sometimes. I also made sure I talked to Emma and explained the difference and how she should be careful with the words she uses when she's telling Maddie about her birth mommy. Even after adopting Isaac and having fielded his questions, it still feels new each time things like this come up. Each situation was unique with it's own story and painful aspects. I guess we just pray for the Holy Spirit to give us the words that our chilren need to hear to navigate each conversation as it arises.

A Wicked Night!

This is the view from our hotel room window. I love hotels. I love walking into a clean room (that I didn't have to clean), seeing a huge comfy bed, having blackout curtains, looking through everything to find the little extras...coffee, robes, mints... I know Larry's probably sick of them because of all the traveling he has to do but I get a thrill every time we stay in one... I'm like a little kid.

Here we are! Leaving our hotel room to go to dinner and see WICKED!

We had dinner at the hotel.

The show was absolutely amazing. I can't say enough about it. I was mesmerized from the first note of the orchestra's score to the last bow of the curtain call. The cast was strong (with the exception of Boq) and while the girl playing Galinda was quite young (21!!!) she was exceptionally talented and came off as a seasoned performer. Brilliantly done!

One last thing... we passed this sign in an asian restaurant on the way to the theatre and couldn't stop laughing!

I miss...

my husband.

A New Adventure Begins...

Larry has accepted a job in San Diego and the Baldwin Family is going home. Time to clean out the clutter in our lives as we prepare to move back across the country. Many mixed emotions moving through the Baldwin Bungalow at the moment.

Our house (on the market tomorrow) in Indiana:

Meet My Man...

Just want to point you toward my husband's brand new blog...we set it up last night. He's always enjoyed writing and journaling and now you get to hear his voice through blog. Tentatively titled "Narrating the Shadowlands", you will find journal entries, essays, family updates and more.

First Day of School!

Dad praying with kids before they catch the bus.

Visiting Texas

The One Year Plan

Larry and I started what we have deemed "The One Year Plan" at the end of May. It involves some hard choices and big changes but it is reassuring to know it is temporary. I was browsing through Barnes and Noble one day and my eyes fell upon this greeting card. I knew immediately that it was my "visual" for The One Year Plan.

Check out my Hip Hop Hubby!

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

Why I Love "Lost"...or Regaining the Enjoyment I Felt Taking My College Philosophy Courses

One of my favorite memories from college was studying for Philosophy tests with Larry. I loved reading about theories on time and reality and then wrestling through them with him. I found that reading about the philosophers helped give definition to what I believed and thought. In addition, I realized that many of the authors that I devoured on a regular basis wrote from a definitive philosophical perspective that I could now name (i.e. C.S. Lewis and Platonic thought).

Through the years since, an occasional book or movie will ignite a renewed interest in my philosophical side and I always take great pleasure in the mind-stretching that ensues.

That being said, the television show "Lost" has spun me into a philosophical revival of sorts. On a purely entertainment level, I thoroughly enjoy the characters, mysteries, mystic premises and relationships but I had trouble pin-pointing the exact reason for my obsession with this series. Until now! I don't want to regurgitate what has already been so eloquently stated by various reviewers, writers, and fans but I would like to point you to article that I found completely absorbing.

If you are a fan of "Lost" or a fan of philosophy, this is a great read (whether you buy into the writer's theories or not). Be warned: If you haven't been keeping up with the series, you may find some spoilers.

'Lost,' a la Descartes

Brain Clouds and Inspiration

Lately this blog has been relegated to the role of updating everyone on the activities of my cute children and I've been completely lax in my writing. This is partially due to the fact that last week was spent with EIGHT children in our home (we had my nieces and nephew for the week) and somewhat due to the lingering brain cloud that has been plaguing me for the past couple weeks. Well, thanks to my wonderful husband, I might be able to emerge from my brain cloud now. For Mother's Day I received "Writer Mama: How to Raise Your Writing Career Alongside Your Kids"! I can't wait to dig in. Maybe, just maybe, you may get some slightly more interesting reading!

Summer????

After what seemed like an endless winter, the sun has appeared. There have been walks, baseball, grilling, parks...

Maddie and Cousin Abbey

Larry grilling on our back patio

Under the Water

Tonight my son was baptized by his dad and his Uncle (and Youth pastor) Paul to the tune of "Sweetly Broken".

Five Things I Know About Myself

This is a question my husband (whose 'love language' is quality time with the subheading 'quality conversation') came up with. This is not to include personality traits or likes and dislikes per se. He loves to come up with questions that spur conversations into deeper waters.

1. I like to have a plan. (disclaimer: This does not mean I have to religiously adhere to the plan. It simply means I will go crazy much faster if I have nothing to look forward to or have no idea what may be coming next. I absolutely can not handle sitting around trying to decide what to do. I would rather change a plan.)
2. I should NEVER (I repeat, NEVER) volunteer for children's ministry, no matter how guilty I feel. (the consequences that would follow would be devastating for all involved)

So...there's the start of my list...do you have some? Tell me about 'em!!!!!!