Last Sunday my brother preached on Luke 11:1-13 (Typically
known as the Lord’s Prayer, although some have coined the term, “The Disciples’
Prayer”). The message was comprehensive
but I just couldn’t get past the very first point – The Lord’s Prayer reminds us of our identity. When Jesus starts to teach the disciples how
to pray, he begins with the word “Father” to address God.
The actual word “Father” that he uses cannot be found in any
other Jewish Literature to refer to God leading up to that point. It was a term of endearment, “Abba”. It was addressing God as we would address our
“daddies”. Very informal, familiar,
intimate. Matt remarked that it was interesting
to note that Jesus starts every prayer we see in scripture with
The problem comes when I forget that I’m a child of God---
adopted into his family in an eternal covenant of grace. As Matt stated, “I forget that I’m a child of
God and start acting like an orphan.” As
if I have no one who has embraced me “no matter what”, drawn me in and called
me by a new name. I struggle to remember
who I am and who my “Abba” (“Daddy”) is.
The concept of God as a father has not always resonated with
me. My father and I spent many years in
a relationship fraught with conflict (I did get his permission to publish this
first). In my childish eyes, I
associated discipline with punishment. I
read his fear as anger. And I internalized his “teaching” as me never being
“good enough”… there was always something I could have done better. A picture of a god like that did not appeal
to me in the slightest. In addition I
grew up knowing that I had had a birth father that was killed when I was 7
weeks old and it left a big empty hole in my heart. I couldn’t imagine God or anyone else for
that matter taking their place in the void I carried with me. I was instead drawn to scriptures that highlighted
his more “feminine” traits. Verses like
Matthew 23:37 where God says, “…How often would I have gathered your children together
as a hen gathers her brood under her wings…” or references to God being
our “hiding place” or refuge. These made
sense to me.
My dad will be the first one to tell you that sometime in my
early 20’s God worked a healing in our relationship. I was able then to take God in his entirety…
both his male and female attributes.
I think another moment when I found a new level of
understanding God as my Father/Daddy was when we adopted our daughter from
China. In China the word for Daddy is
“Baba”… so very close to “Abba”. The
first time I heard my daughter call Larry “Baba”, a shift happened again. I had seen Larry parent all of our other
children and do it well. What made this
situation different was the fact that this little girl, who had never seen,
heard, or smelled a “white” person in her life, was calling this stranger,
“Baba” not knowing that for many months this Daddy had gazed at pictures of
her, prayed for her daily, prepared for her, worked hard to get to her and to finally give her a true home and a “Baba”.
When I thought of all that Larry had done and given to make
this child his own I grasped anew all that God had done to make me part of His
family. All the “work” that went into
bringing Madeleine home is nothing compared to what God did so that I could be
adopted and call him “Abba/Daddy”.
So, what was my “take away”?
To continually remind myself who I am and who my Daddy is… to keep this
as the lens through which I see everything else… my joys, my worship, my
marriage, my parenting, my confidence (or lack thereof) and my trials… God is
MY Daddy! He is completely in
control. Everything thing that happens
in my life, easy or difficult, tragic or joyous is ultimately for my good and
His glory.
