I am joining the ranks of Grace in Small Things. I need this right now. (Thank you, LoveDrunk! You inspired me!) You can join me...it's so simple and so often just the thing we need.Monday, June 01, 2009
Grace in Small Things # 1
I am joining the ranks of Grace in Small Things. I need this right now. (Thank you, LoveDrunk! You inspired me!) You can join me...it's so simple and so often just the thing we need.Monday, March 16, 2009
Mission and Living in Community
"Now, God... here's the deal. I know intellectually that making a commitment that financially doesn't make sense right now, in this economy would just not be wise. Besides, while I'm committed to You and to our church, I still don't 'feel' the passion for this community yet. I don't have real roots here. I'm being obedient but I just don't 'feel' it yet."

Friday, February 27, 2009
Emma and her Hilarious Giving...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Change is in the air...
The problem this creates for us is several fold. Our church is in an extremely low income section of San Diego county. Our membership’s giving can not sustain an increase in fees. In fact, my brother and his wife have not received a salary in almost a year. They have been surviving on special one time gifts (from outside sources) and credit cards. Our original plan was to start a fundraising “campaign” for this mission to National City. Now, with only two weeks before our rate increases exponentially we are faced with making rapid decisions.Out of the various options, it looks like our best one is to convert to a “house church” model. So, yesterday Matt and Larry spoke with the congregation (which averages between 80-90 people) and told them the situation and the options with the house church option being the most feasible. We so appreciated your prayers. The response was overwhelmingly positive. Now we covet your prayers as we (RAPIDLY) move into implementation mode. This will be very stressful and we need wisdom.
As I've lived the worries associated with this shift for the last few days, I have been constantly reminded of our Isaac and God's providential hand in what seemed like a bleak outlook. I know from experience that God has his hand on us and our church.
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer
in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled
to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow
"Desert Song" by Hillsongs United
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
Loving My New Camera
Friday, February 06, 2009
Her Morning Elegance
Many of you know but for those who don't, I suffer from dysthymia, which is basically "chronic, low-grade depression". It is difficult to describe to people and it took years to finally admit and get some treatment. I thought for years that it was a character issue or even a spiritual one. And while I believe that I face some spiritual struggles because of the depression, the depression itself cannot be written up to a "lack of faith" or "sin". The other aspect of my depression is that people are often unaware of it or are surprised when they find out that I struggle with it daily. (Yes, daily. Some days the fight is harder than others.) I believe this is for a number of reasons...in general I am strong willed and fairly functional. Also, I have a deep faith that carries me each day and a strangle hold on grace that I won't loosen my grip on. And, if I'm honest right now, I also fake it pretty well in public. There you have it.
So, back to "Her Morning Elegance". I felt like someone had gazed into the heart and head of a woman who knows, experiences what I do on a daily basis. I love the creativity in expressing something that can be so dark yet is a common daily occurrence for those of us who face chronic, low-grade depression each morning. I also love the bed in the video. I can't tell you how often I just want to stay there! It is a great metaphor that resonated with me to the core.
Here are the lyrics...watch the video! (Thank you to the artist, Oren Lavie)
Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case
Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up
And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And she goes...Nobody knows
Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love
And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And she goes...Nobody knows
And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
Where the people are pleasantly
Strange
And counting the change
And she goes...Nobody knows
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Holiday Shop and Earn Money for Your School Too!

Once again with the holiday season I went back out to their website and from there I followed the link to their "Marketplace". (There are more than 70 stores to choose from... and not some "no-name-can-I-trust-them-to-not-screw-me-over" stores. We're talking Target, Kohls, Limited Too, Hallmark, OfficeMax and Hotels.com. The retailers donate anywhere from .5% to 8% depending on the retailer. I had some Barnes and Noble shopping to do so I clicked on their link from the Marketplace and then signed in with my Barnes and Noble Readers Advantage card and did my shopping! EASY...and my kids' school benefits. Since I already had an account with Barnes and Noble and had previously set up my Box Tops account, everything was very smooth.
*An extra bonus: The BoxTops for Education website has COUPONS for the General Mills products that have those coveted boxtops!
Friday, December 05, 2008
Three Years Ago. Today.
She has settled into being the "baby" of the family while still retaining some of the "oldest child" tendencies she brought with her into our family. She is outgoing, inquisitive and imaginative and I can't imagine our lives without her.
For more information about adoption see How To Adopt or leave me a comment!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
God Doesn't Sleep
Friday, November 14, 2008
Sometimes I...
...know I am more sinful that I would ever admit

...know I am more loved than I could ever imagine
...hate my undisciplined self
...can't believe how I talk to my kids
...love how I make my kids laugh
...need to get away
...am scared of eternity
...feel caught outside of time
...don't think anyone understands
...am overwhelmed by grace
...wish I shared grace more freely with others
...think there may be one more child out there that needs our family
...wake up
...worry that there isn't anything more than what is right now
...don't want "right now" to ever end
...spend too much time comparing myself to everyone else
...miss the sound of a train off in the distance and my chest hurts
...am a total bitch
...remember to apologize
...remember to forgive myself
...take him for granted
...lose myself in the smell of his neck
...am spinning my wheels
...am spinning too many plates
...am spinning tales
...like to shut it all out
...live for the applause of others
...wish I didn't care
...have standards that are too high
...root for the underdog
...wish my children would just grow up
...wish they never would
...am lazy
...realize how much I miss when I'm lazy
...spend too much time in regret
...forget how to dream
...forget how to hope
...forget how to love
...want to be sung to sleep
...feel like a burden
...want a house
...remember to be grateful
...forget
...let my emotional life be dictated by his mood
...feel safer with him than ever
...know I love him more now than ever before
...wonder if he really does love me
...marvel at the father he is to our children
...watch my babies sleep and am held captive by the moment
...remember the moment my soul met each of my child's souls and they recognized each other as family
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Halloween is here again...




Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Hope Box
time to fill. I told the kids about the original idea and they kind of took off with it. My brother, Matt, who is our pastor, often says, "You don't need a church program to love your neighbor". Well, we decided to just go for it, create a box and provide empty boxes to others at church so that they could do the same thing. We created a list of practical items to which homeless people often don't have access. We made trips to the 99 Cent Store and Big Lots and stocked up on items plus a few empty plastic containers. Emma dubbed the project, "Hope Box". They were excited about putting our Hope Box together and it was fun to browse the aisles deciding what to include and explaining why to the kids. I pledge to, through the Hope Box Project, participate in redeeming my city for God. By helping to practically provide for those who are in need, I pray God will use me as an instrument of healing and as a window to the gospel. I will not use this opportunity to build my pride or feel superior but will recognize my need and my poverty and choose to identify with and fellowship with those who live and breathe financial poverty. I will use the interactions with those in need as an opportunity to move beyond “doing a good deed” into building relationships. I pledge to replenish my Hope Box when it is empty, to speak with love and act with compassion.
Band-Aids
Gloves
Tarps
Ponchos
Neosporin
Sunscreen
Beef jerky
Trail mix
Deodorant
Wipes
Tissues
Travel Toothbrushes w/ toothpaste
Flashlights/Batteries
Granola Bars
Feminine Hygiene Products
Friday, October 10, 2008
Beer. The Safer Investment.

If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left. With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left. With AIG, you would have less than $15 left. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Road Trip...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Yes... The Baldwin Family is still alive and kicking...
Landen and Mom
Hippos snuggling under water
Me with my buds in our diva glasses (Erica on left; Dana on right)
Maddie with her friend, Serena (Erica's daughter)
Friday, September 12, 2008
My baby girl...
Friday, September 05, 2008
Soon End In Joy
Give to the wind your fear
Hope and be undismayed
God hears your sighs and counts your tears
God will lift up, He'll lift up your head
God will lift up, lift up your head
Leave to His sovereign sway
To choose and to command
Then shall we wandering on His way
Know how wise and how strong
How wise and how strong
How strong is His hand
Through waves and clouds and storms,
He gently clears the way
Wait 'cause in His time, so shall this night
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
God will lift up your head
Soon end in joy
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Shopping for Education

Monday, August 11, 2008
The Passing of This Season...
Friday, August 08, 2008
Back in Indiana...
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Good Morning America Tomorrow

Steven Curtis Chapmas and his family are appearing tomorrow morning (currently the time slot is just after 8 am) on Good Morning America. I encourage you to hold up their family in prayer and pray that hearts will be open to hearing the message of hope that is professed.
From Steven's Road Manager's Blog: House Mix
Press Release: NASHVILLE, TN....AUGUST 4, 2008....GRAMMY and Dove Award winning artist Steven Curtis Chapman, along with his wife Mary Beth, and eldest children Emily, Caleb, and Will, will soon be opening their hearts to America about the loss of their daughter and sister Maria Chapman this past May 21st. GOOD MORNING AMERICA will air a special interview with Robin Roberts from The Chapman’s home in Franklin on August 6th, followed by a live interview from Los Angeles on LARRY KING LIVE on August 7th, and an extensive feature in an upcoming issue of PEOPLE magazine. The decision to speak publicly was not an easy one, and these will be the first interviews the family has participated in since Maria’s death.“Initially Steven talked about never doing any concerts or media ever again,” comments Jim Houser, Chapman’s manager. “But quickly God began to show Steven that if he ever believed the songs he was writing, singing and recording before May 21st and Maria’s loss, that they must still be true now. It’s the family’s hope that these appearances with serve as a chance to proclaim to a watching world what they know and are deeply convinced of even in these difficult days, the Gospel is true and faith in Christ is our Hope.” (for remainder of release click HERE)
For the rest of the release and more on Maria, the Chapman family and Shaohannah's Hope (their orphan ministry) CLICK
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Baldwin Family Update...
We've spent the last few weeks becoming re-acclimated to California living (as evidenced by small changes like the piercings in Isaac's ears), settling into living with Grandma and Papi, visiting old friends and more...
Just a few highlights:
My parents live across the street from an elementary school which happens to be on a year-round schedule...so... last week Emma and Isaac joined the local throng of back-to-school shoppers. We purchased their uniforms and off they went to their first day of school in California.

This past Thursday, Landen attended Comic Con in downtown San Diego with my brother, Joe. He met up with a friend of ours from college, Doug TenNapel, author of such graphic novels as "Tommysaurus Rex" and "Creature Tech" and creator of the Nickelodeon show "Catscratch". My brother, Joe, used to stay with Doug in the men's dorms when he would visit me at school so it was a reunion of sorts.
I've begun working at Lamb's Players Theatre again. I'm doing box office work and I've had the most wonderful time reconnecting with everyone again. On Friday night, I took my mom to the
preview performance of "Pretty Fire" and outside the theatre ran into Greg Grunberg (star of "Heroes"). He graciously signed an autograph for me to take home to Landen that read, "Landen, I know what you're thinking!" He was incredibly friendly and has a lovely family.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Blog Block...
tures to share, thoughts to reveal, insecurities to exorcise, opinions to spew, rants to run-on. But. What keeps you from blogging? I mean, besides just "busy-ness". And when you run up against it what do you do to move past it or through it? Please. Share.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Adjusting My Definition...
Reading Tim Chester's blog this morning on 'Creating Communities of Grace", I came across this statement:
Consider the requirement of hospitality. It is literally ‘love of strangers’. This is not inviting friends to dinner parties. This means inviting strangers, difficult people, messy people.We are to be the neighbours that everyone wants to have as neighbours.
Ummm...'nuf said.



