Deliver me...

My soul was bruised yesterday. I was struggling to find perspective because my emotions were flattened and gray and refusing to comply with my strict orders to “snap out of it”. In these times, I am sometimes at a loss for words to pray and frankly in these time I often don't even possess the desire to speak with my God. The Holy Spirit will often send a faint melody bubbling up from the recesses of my memory to give voice to my emptiness and prompt me to pray. Yesterday it was Margaret Becker's Deliver Me:

I was just about to tell You
What I'm sure You already know
How my throat is tight with crying
Yet my soul is arctic blue
'Cause I've seen some tears that didn't move me
Whispered words I didn't mean
Held back all my love for anger
Grown so weak in all these things
So in all these things

Deliver me from me
And deliver me to You
Come and set me free
Come and find me tried and true
Come on now
Deliver me from me

I was just about to run away
As far as far could go
When I recognized the cruelest captors
Living right inside my soul
And I can't escape their endless movements
Cannot shed them like a skin
Can't control all these emotions
Cannot live while they're within
So in all these things

Deliver me from me
And deliver me to You
Come and set me free
Come and find me tried and true
Come on now
Deliver me from
me

And now I'm falling, falling
Dreaming of Your arms of mercy
They are soft as the new winter snow

Deliver me from me
And deliver me to You
Come and set me free
Come and find me tried and true
Come on now
Deliver me from
me