Monday, August 11, 2008

The Passing of This Season...

Yesterday Emma and I said "goodbye" to our house in Granger. I've spent the last few days supervising packers, carpet cleaners, and movers, all the while preparing the house for our new tenants. I cleaned in spurts occasionally picking up the spackling blade or paint brush to touch up the walls. As I drifted from project to project I couldn't shake the death imagery that kept coming to mind. I am a very visual person and sometimes the only way I can describe emotions or situations is through pictures and symbols.

While struggling to explain to a friend the emotional detachment I was feeling as I wandering through the rooms of my house and drove through the streets of my former neighborhood, I kept picturing veils over mirrors, as they do in some Jewish communities during a time of mourning. I felt as if I had placed a veil over my emotions in regards to the death of this season of life. There was also this impression of preparing a body for burial as I lovingly cleaned each corner and dressed each flaw in my home.

There is no doubt that I am sad. I'm eating like crap, not sleeping well, restless, having stomach pains. But the emotions are not up front. There are no tears. This transition has been a long time coming. Somewhat like a loved one who has suffered and been ill for a long time. You are prepared for the death, maybe even hope for it at times, but it is still painful when it happens.

Before we left, a tearful Emma climbed up to the first landing of our stairs. I thought she was on her way to see her empty bedroom. Instead she stopped at the landing and swung her leg over the banister for one last slide.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Back in Indiana...

Emma and I left Wednesday to fly back to Granger to meet the movers. We have leased the house and our renters will be moving in next Monday. Here we are waiting at the airport with Starbucks in hand.

At the moment I am waiting for the moving van... it is FOUR hours late. I'm a bit frustrated. I can't do much cleaning or painting when there are boxes and furniture strewn throughout the house.

On top of that, our lease agreement still isn't signed because the renters wanted their lawyer to review it. Their lawyer finally got back to our realtor today and they are asking to write in that if they want to purchase the house at the end of the lease that they can purchase it for almost 20k less than what we're asking right now for it and that we will apply all of their rental payments toward the purchase price. WTH? That's a year away! I'm not prepared to lower the price that much when we don't even know what the market will be a year from now. I'm really aggravated right now... can you tell? What if this blows the whole deal? I know, I know. "What if" should not be in my vocabulary but after several years of too many of the "what if's" actually happening, I can't break the habit.

What, if anything, is aggravating YOU today? Please... take my mind off of this for a few minutes.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Good Morning America Tomorrow

Steven Curtis Chapmas and his family are appearing tomorrow morning (currently the time slot is just after 8 am) on Good Morning America. I encourage you to hold up their family in prayer and pray that hearts will be open to hearing the message of hope that is professed.

From Steven's Road Manager's Blog: House Mix

Press Release: NASHVILLE, TN....AUGUST 4, 2008....GRAMMY and Dove Award winning artist Steven Curtis Chapman, along with his wife Mary Beth, and eldest children Emily, Caleb, and Will, will soon be opening their hearts to America about the loss of their daughter and sister Maria Chapman this past May 21st. GOOD MORNING AMERICA will air a special interview with Robin Roberts from The Chapman’s home in Franklin on August 6th, followed by a live interview from Los Angeles on LARRY KING LIVE on August 7th, and an extensive feature in an upcoming issue of PEOPLE magazine. The decision to speak publicly was not an easy one, and these will be the first interviews the family has participated in since Maria’s death.

“Initially Steven talked about never doing any concerts or media ever again,” comments Jim Houser, Chapman’s manager. “But quickly God began to show Steven that if he ever believed the songs he was writing, singing and recording before May 21st and Maria’s loss, that they must still be true now. It’s the family’s hope that these appearances with serve as a chance to proclaim to a watching world what they know and are deeply convinced of even in these difficult days, the Gospel is true and faith in Christ is our Hope.” (for remainder of release click HERE)

For the rest of the release and more on Maria, the Chapman family and Shaohannah's Hope (their orphan ministry) CLICK