Emma and her Hilarious Giving...

Emma visited Mexico last Saturday with Larry to bring food to an orphanage and also a camp for field workers and their families (the children are left at "home" in their tin shacks for hours while their parents work in the fields). This the second time they've gone (last time Landen and Isaac went as well but this past Saturday Landen had rehearsal and Isaac had a football game). They go with a group called Hilarious Givers which was started by a friend of ours who collects food that would otherwise be thrown away and redistributes it in Mexico to people in need. The kids all love this but Emma especially enjoys befriending all the dogs and children. Her heart never ceases to amaze me.

Change is in the air...

The reality of the troubling economy keeps hitting closer to home. As you probably already know, our economy is in the tank…no where is this more true than in the state of California. This past week our legislature passed a new budget which includes many cuts and many new taxes. Now… our church meets in a middle school where we had set up a special arrangement with the principal… our “rent” was covering their custodial supply budget each month (around $800). We had a fabulous relationship with both the principal and the custodian(who is a Christian). However, this week the school district administrators informed all the schools that they will be fully required to uphold all published rates starting March 1st. This is in an effort to help fund these schools who are losing some of their funding from the state. In our particular situation this would mean a 100-200 % increase in our monthly fees. (We have NOT been singled out… other churches are getting the same news).

The problem this creates for us is several fold. Our church is in an extremely low income section of San Diego county. Our membership’s giving can not sustain an increase in fees. In fact, my brother and his wife have not received a salary in almost a year. They have been surviving on special one time gifts (from outside sources) and credit cards. Our original plan was to start a fundraising “campaign” for this mission to National City. Now, with only two weeks before our rate increases exponentially we are faced with making rapid decisions.

Out of the various options, it looks like our best one is to convert to a “house church” model. So, yesterday Matt and Larry spoke with the congregation (which averages between 80-90 people) and told them the situation and the options with the house church option being the most feasible. We so appreciated your prayers. The response was overwhelmingly positive. Now we covet your prayers as we (RAPIDLY) move into implementation mode. This will be very stressful and we need wisdom.

As I've lived the worries associated with this shift for the last few days, I have been constantly reminded of our Isaac and God's providential hand in what seemed like a bleak outlook. I know from experience that God has his hand on us and our church.

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer
in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled
to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

"Desert Song" by Hillsongs United

Isaac-The Football Stud

Loving My New Camera

Larry gave me a Canon Rebel for my birthday... I am having the best time playing with it.

Her Morning Elegance

This video has been making the rounds through cyberspace. My brother sent it to me yesterday and while I absolutely loved the video it was the lyrics that rocked me.

Many of you know but for those who don't, I suffer from dysthymia, which is basically "chronic, low-grade depression". It is difficult to describe to people and it took years to finally admit and get some treatment. I thought for years that it was a character issue or even a spiritual one. And while I believe that I face some spiritual struggles because of the depression, the depression itself cannot be written up to a "lack of faith" or "sin". The other aspect of my depression is that people are often unaware of it or are surprised when they find out that I struggle with it daily. (Yes, daily. Some days the fight is harder than others.) I believe this is for a number of reasons...in general I am strong willed and fairly functional. Also, I have a deep faith that carries me each day and a strangle hold on grace that I won't loosen my grip on. And, if I'm honest right now, I also fake it pretty well in public. There you have it.

So, back to "Her Morning Elegance". I felt like someone had gazed into the heart and head of a woman who knows, experiences what I do on a daily basis. I love the creativity in expressing something that can be so dark yet is a common daily occurrence for those of us who face chronic, low-grade depression each morning. I also love the bed in the video. I can't tell you how often I just want to stay there! It is a great metaphor that resonated with me to the core.

Here are the lyrics...watch the video! (Thank you to the artist, Oren Lavie)

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case
Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And she goes...Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And she goes...Nobody knows

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
Where the people are pleasantly
Strange
And counting the change
And she goes...Nobody knows

My Church