I'm in a dark place today. Doors seem to be shutting for me in every area of my life and my question for God right now is "why?". I long for a "calling". I long for fulfilment of that calling. I long to be used by God. Right now I'm struggling with why He doesn't want to use me or if He does why doesn't he show me where. How do I reach beyond this darkness and keep up with the day to day life that is just frankly boring for me right now? I can persevere through this but I sure would like to with some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. This tunnel has been too long.Today this is what I cling to...with bleeding finger nails...grasping with all my might:
Remember your word to your servant,
because you have given me hope.
This is my comfort in my trouble,
that your promise gives me life.
Psalm 119:49-50
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I am chuckling right now to myself because I spent about three years asking that same question and then, bam! Two foster kids entered our lives. It is evident that this is what God has been building me and my family up for. It is clearly His next assignment for us, and it would not have worked out so well if it had come at an earlier time. So...hang in there. I now know from experience that he does not forget our hearts...He just has a little more "setting up" to do before giving us the assignment.
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