Tuesday, February 05, 2008

sobering conversations...


On the way to the airport to drop off Larry...

Mommy: Maddie, when Daddy and I brought you back from China this is where we came. And there were lots and lots of people at the airport waiting for us so that they could meet you!

(long pause)

Maddie (from her car seat): My birth mommy didn't want me and left me on the street.

(even longer pause as a rock hits my gut and Larry freezes)

Mommy: Who told you that?

Maddie: Emma. But Jesus took care of me and got me to the doctors.

Mommy (chickening out of dealing with the first comment for the time being): You are right about that. Jesus DID take care of you.

Maddie: And then you came and got me.


Later I tried to explain that her birth mommy did want her but wasn't able to take care of her. She just kept talking about us. I'm not sure what she understands sometimes. I also made sure I talked to Emma and explained the difference and how she should be careful with the words she uses when she's telling Maddie about her birth mommy. Even after adopting Isaac and having fielded his questions, it still feels new each time things like this come up. Each situation was unique with it's own story and painful aspects. I guess we just pray for the Holy Spirit to give us the words that our chilren need to hear to navigate each conversation as it arises.

3 comments:

TheologyMom said...

Okay, I had to comment on this too...my 3 year old daughter is blind/visually impaired...the other day she said "My cousin Sophie says I'm blind what is blind?"..to which I had no response. Thankfully my husband jumped in and said "Blind is someone who doesn't see well, do you think you're blind?" To which Lora answered "No, I think I see just what I'm supposed to see"...Its nice on those rare occasions when they answer their own questions...

Khara said...

I think you handled that very well Melissa. And it is good that she already had it in her mind to focus on the positive in the matter.

It's neat to see her baby picture. She is such a beautiful little girl.

Mom to 5...Daughter of the King said...

Bravo, Melissa. It is such a touchy subject to deal with. Sometimes we work so hard to discuss it in just the right words, and then siblings blow it out of the water!