1. Tie kids to the patio railing to eliminate the need to return to a room more than once and clean again
2. Move mice and stinky cat litter than you've been too busy to change into the garage
3. Grab some Grands Cinnabon rolls and put them on foil covered cookie tray (no washing later) into preheated oven for that "homey" smell
4. Remind self that "NOTHING tastes as good as THIN feels" (even Grands Cinnabon rolls)
5. Start on top story, visiting each room to make sure lights are on, blinds are open, beds are made and nothing has died in the closet, toy box or under the bed
6. During said rounds, sniff repeatedly, making sure the dog hasn't done any business where he shouldn't
7. Invest in Windex wipes and Clorox wipes for quick easy cleaning of toothpaste spatters on sink and counters and spit spots on mirrors
8. Move to main floor, picking up littered Barbie dolls en route
9. Resist urge to throw said Barbie dolls in trash and place them instead in covered toy recepticle sitting in what should be a dining room but has defaulted into a playroom
10. Grab generic Magic Eraser from under kitchen sink to clean up dry erase marker that you spotted on the office wall as you were making your way to the living room to vacuum
11. Return to kitchen to grab Resolve Pet carpet cleaner to clean up cat vomit you found when you entered the office to clean up previously mentioned dry erase marker
12. Quick vacuum on main floor
13. Fluff pillows, turn on lights, take out Cinnabons
14. Carefully replace contents of pantry that have scattered on the floor in your attempt to resist the Cinnabons and desperately search for something non-fat and low calorie that doesn't taste like cardboard
15. Untie kids
16. Move everyone to car (including dog) and leave, praying the people don't notice the new stains on the car from preschooler spilling juice as she escaped from the garage and ran back into the house to grab aforementioned Barbies for the car ride.
Disclaimer: No children, animals or Barbies were hurt (or tied to the patio railings) in the cleaning of this house although I was sorely tempted on a few occasions.
And now for your listening and viewing pleasure: Madeleine Yan Baldwin composing a song to her Barbies about our dirty house...